


I Wasn't Expecting That

by Dancing_Bean



Series: Left Hand Free (and flower, you're the chosen one) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Challenge fic, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kidfic, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-05-11 12:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5625916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Bean/pseuds/Dancing_Bean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In response to a challenge: Multi chapter fic trope challenge - miracle pregnancy, including at least three background characters (more details in notes inside)<br/>An accident on a mission leaves Natasha and Maria in a unique situation. Can they learn to rely on each other?<br/>Starts just before Age of Ultron.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1 - Accident

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is being written in response to a multi-chapter fic trope challenge (miracle pregnancy, including at least three background characters, provide short playlist). So of course I thought BlackHill... This topic (and the multi chapteredness) is definitely going to be challenging - I am writing well out of my comfort zone here, so please bear with me! And hopefully enjoy :)
> 
> line-breaks indicate time-breaks (days to weeks). Chapter lengths will probably vary quite a lot!
> 
> Playlist:  
> Wasn't Expecting That - Jamie Lawson  
> Moving In Slow Motion - The Sweet Remains  
> I Choose You - Sara Bareilles  
> Ho Hey - The Lumineers  
> Photograph - Ed Sheeran  
> I Hope You Dance - Ronan Keating

It was, Maria mused as she finally, finally managed to reach her office without being interrupted or called away to deal with yet another urgent problem caused by Stark or Banner (or both together), a damn good thing that Fury was off the grid at the moment. If he was here she would have been forced to kick him for all the headaches this new scheme of his was causing. Considering the shear lunacy of some of his previous plans (see: Tony Stark, The Avengers, almost killing himself playing dead) that was saying something.

She sat at her desk with a sigh, cradling a large mug of coffee and pulled two piles of memos towards herself. She was just pondering whether to start with the requestion pile or the 'tracking of the sceptre' pile when her computer blipped, signalling an incoming call. Taking a sip of the scalding hot coffee she opened the conversation, glad for the alternative to her paperwork.

“Phil”

“Maria” Coulson looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes. May hadn't mentioned any particular problems, so this was probably general work related tiredness.

“Is this about the inhumans? I've only had time to have a brief look over your proposals...”

“No no” Phil waved a hand, “To be honest, I have had to put that on the back burner a bit as well”

They both winced, remembering the chaos of the last few weeks.

“So…?”

“I know the Avengers have scaled back” Coulson started, clearly reluctant to jump straight into the reason for his call.

“On hiatus, Phil” Maria said dryly, taking a drink of her coffee and shuffling through another pile of files, “I can only directly locate four of them at the moment, and Stark blew himself up yesterday so only three of them can walk.”

“I've got something bizarre, a site in Mexico. I really think you need to look at this.”

Maria raised an eyebrow “Us, and not you?”

Coulson scrubbed a hand over his face. “I can't keep up with everything that we are supposed to look into”

“I did make you a list last week” Maria said, feeling unsympathetic. Let him see how much went in to running SHIELD.

“And I appreciate it” Phil smiled hopefully, trying to turn on the puppy-dog eyes. “Come on, surely they need some exercise?”

There was a long pause as Maria considered the chance of her being able to pull Rogers away from his hunt, and of being able to talk fast enough to convince Banner to take part. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Send me the details and I will let you know if we can help you.”

The almost comical look of relief on Phil's face made her smile to herself.

 

 

A couple of hours later Maria – now fully up to date on the limited information that Phil had about the unusual site – found the conference room where Rogers and Romanoff had seated themselves. Rogers seemed unsettled, as though he was trying too hard to look official, still finding his place in the new surroundings. In contrast Romanoff sprawled bonelessly in her chair, appearing to be effortlessly comfortable and in control. Not for the first time Maria smirked to herself, taking a certain amount of smug satisfaction in how well their partnership worked. Fury still owed her $20 over that.

“Who wants a trip out into the real world?” Maria asked as she sat opposite them.

Romanoff glanced up, curious, and Rogers frowned. “I'm a bit busy for more ops,” he said, “Plus, Stark and Banner are not in shape.”

“Lets assume that missions to assess potentially devastatingly powerful alien complexes are more important than missing a few days of your hunt for Barnes,” Maria said pleasantly, totally ignoring the pout on Rogers face, “Are you capable of going on an op?” She glanced at Romanoff, noting the twitch of her lips and wondering if it was amusement at Rogers' discomfort or annoyance at how she had treated her partner.

The two experienced Avengers shared a complicated look.

“We are” Rogers said eventually.

“Good” Maria smiled. “Because we have something that needs to be looked into sooner rather than later.” She pushed files over to them, flipping open her own. “So, rumours have been springing up about a site in the Yucatan in Mexico. A probe was sent, expecting nothing but instead found some very interesting power activity and ground works. Which is where we come in. This site really needs checking up on.”

“Alien?” Romanoff asked, flicking to the pictures, one eyebrow raising at the distinct patterns clearly visible from the aerial shots.

“Quite possibly.”

The assassin lent back in her seat, "Where is your information coming from?"

"Classified," Maria replied blandly.

Romanoff frowned a little at that, and turned back to the file in front of her.

Steve frowned. “Two of us can't cover this. And we don't have the back up agents needed any more.”

“Three,” Maria said, firmly.

Romanoff grinned slyly at her “Barton is bored. He would probably appreciate a phonecall. Perhaps around the time we are heading for Mexico. He does love a trip.”

Maria nodded, not entirely surprised.

“What about Thor? If alien is a possibility?”

“I sent out a request earlier today. If we hear back from him in time, great. If not...” Maria shrugged. “There is a bit of a time limit in place as this site is actually in the same area as a lot of ruins. There are active archaeological teams working out there right now, getting a bit too close for comfort to it.”

The two Avengers nodded, still browsing through the files, then Rogers looked up and met her eyes. “How much warning do you need to give Barton?”

 

* * *

 

 

It had been years since Natasha had been to Mexico, and even longer since she had visited the Yucatan Peninsula, but the damp heat that surrounded them as they made their way through the undergrowth was very familiar. Luckily, thanks to an abandoned archaeological dig site nearby they were able to land one of Tony's nimble jets only a half hour trek from the point that Hill had decided was most likely the entrance to the site. Natasha was currently very glad for this fact. She wasn't built for hot climates.

It was a pity that Thor had not replied before they had set off on this mission, tramping through the forest behind Steve's broad back had her feeling nostalgic and she found herself almost missing her other teammates. Clint however was in high spirits, striding out and cheerfully baiting Hill who ignored him with well practised ease. There was, Natasha thought, more to the theory that events repeated themselves endlessly than many people would allow. Those people had not had to listen to Hill and Clint bicker for close to ten years.

 

Their destination appeared suddenly, breaking through her musings. One minute there was nothing but vegetation and gloom, then there was a wall, staggered like a pyramid and covered in moss and grasses, looming up and out of sight.

“Well,” Hill said, leaning back to get a proper look, “I honestly expected to have to do some hunting for it.”

“Don't tell us that boss,” Clint stepped forwards, tapping an exposed stone, “Takes away our faith in your leadership prowess.”

Hill snorted, and started hunting for anything that could be a doorway. Natasha joined her, pausing now and then to listen to the sounds of the forest. Nothing seemed out of place but she remained twitchy.

 

It actually took longer to locate and open the entrance than it did to find the building itself. Steve had huffed and puffed and made far more fuss over levering it open than Natasha thought was fair considering his super-human strength and super-human resistance to hot weather.

Hill entered first, swiftly and smoothly, flashlight balanced on her gun so naturally that Natasha had to blink back memories of so many past recon missions with the then Agent Hill. Some of those missions had gone less than perfectly, so she was relieved when she heard a “Clear” echo out of the doorway. Steve followed next, Clint bowing mockingly to allow Natasha to go ahead of him. Rolling her eyes she stepped into the cool gloom, automatically stooping before realising that the ceiling was far, far above her head.

“Definitely alien” Clint muttered, turning in a full circle to take in the structure around them. Massive in a way that played with the mind, walls that seemed to be made of some kind of metal curved gently away from them, creating a vast, cavern like space that appeared to be bigger than the pyramid it was within. The floor was dotted with panels covered in patterns and switches, and small, oval, pod-like rooms, the closest of which seemed to be damaged. Natasha could hear Hill and Steve moving around further inside, could see occasional flashes from their lights as they explored. Carefully she stuck her head into a couple of the pods but there was nothing to see except mangled metal.

“What is this place?” Clint breathed from behind her.

She shrugged, moving up to join Hill and Steve.

“This one's intact,” Hill said, walking around another of the pods.

“Might give us some clues,” Natasha said.

Hill nodded, moving up the doorway with her. Taking a breath Natasha levelled her gun, entering the pod quickly and turning left so that Maria could copy her movements and cover the right. Once inside she didn't lower the weapon, but seeing no immediate threat she did look around curiously.

“Any ideas?”

Maria played the beam from her flashlight over the walls, taking in the smooth, seamless construction and strange alloys. “No. Must have been important.”

There were two podiums set right in the centre of the curved structure. Moving over to one Natasha bent to examine it.

“Rogers, Barton,” Hill circled the room to join her.

“Commander,” Steve's voice came back, audible to Natasha through Hill's comm.

“No hostiles here.”

“Affirmative.”

“Hey, look at this,” Clint's voice was slightly muffled.

“Barton…!”

Natasha barely registered Steve's yell of warning before there was a flash of blue light that burned her retinas. She screwed her eyes shut and heard Hill yelp beside her, then her body was engulfed in an icy burn. Then black.

 

As she came to Natasha became aware of two things simultaneously. One, someone was hitting the side of the pod. Loudly and repeatedly. And two, Hill was kneeling up against one of the podiums, shaking her head groggily.

“Wha'?” Her lips felt thick and uncooperative.

“Dunno. Gonna kill him.” Hill staggered to her feet, gripping the podium to steady herself.

Natasha blinked a few times to clear her vision and pulled herself to sit upright. “Has the door shut?”

“Yeah. I think that Rogers is showing full respect to alien technology and is trying to batter his way in.”

“As subtle as usual,” Natasha rubbed her head with a groan.

Hill walked around to where it sounded like Steve was bouncing off the wall outside and knocked firmly. In the sudden silence she tapped her comm, but there was no response. Natasha pulled her own earpiece out, frowning at the distinct lack of power, and struggled up onto shaky legs. Firmly tamping down a wave of nausea she made her way around to join Hill.

“Rogers? Steve! Clint!” Hill yelled.

Natasha had to give the woman credit for volume and effort but there was no reply. Biting back a curse she leant against the wall. It was somehow embarrassing that Hill appeared to be recovering faster from the effects of the pod than she was. It was one thing to be outdone by a super-solider, but Hill was as human as she was.

Hill tapped against the wall again, and this time got a faint knock in reply. “Huh” she muttered under her breath, “Okay Cap, lets see if you know morse code.”

Natasha watched, slightly bemused as Hill rapped on the wall. _“cap”_

 _“sir”_ Steve tapped back

_“alive”_

_“same”_

_“door?”_

_“Shut”_

Hill rolled her eyes “Well no shit Sherlock,” she muttered.

Natasha shot her a sharp grin and moved over to the door, running her hands over the panels.

 _“Handle? Button?”_ Hill rapped impatiently.

_“Oh”_

“Who uses morse code for 'oh'?” Hill asked.

“Cap.”

“Rhetorical question.”

Natasha snorted. “There's something here,” she said, concentrating on a section the had a different texture to the rest.

_“cap?”_

_“checking”_

_“left side low”_ Hill directed, following Natasha's gestures.

_“copy”_

Natasha stepped back and they waited, until a couple of minutes later there was excited banging on the door. Natasha raised an eyebrow and looked at the commander. “Do you think that means get out of the way?”

“Fair bet.”

They both moved to the far side of the pod. A few seconds later the door slid open to reveal a sweaty Steve Rogers and worried Clint Barton.

“Anticlimatic,” Natasha muttered.

“Aw man, I'm sorry,” Clint said, rubbing the back of his neck, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. We're fine,” Natasha said, ignoring the look Hill sent her. There was no way she was going to admit to still feeling dizzy.

“What did you do Barton?” Hill asked, heading out of the pod, following the archer out of sight.

Steve gave Natasha a careful look “Are you sure you are okay?”

She nodded firmly “It could have been a lot worse.”

Steve snorted “You could say that about almost anything,” he said. “Actually, you do say that about anything.”

“Because it's true,” Natasha shrugged.

“Right,” Hill's voice floated around the pod to them, “Lets finish taking the recordings and get back to base so the science team can run some simulations.”

“Very brief,” Natasha muttered, doing her best to ignore Steve's gaze.

“Maybe she feels as green as you look. Maybe she's actually seen how green you look,” he said, reaching for his tablet and moving off towards a bank of switches on a tall stand.

Natasha glared after him, setting her jaw stubbornly. “I'm fine,” she muttered again.


	2. Chapter 2 - Results

By the time they landed back at the Tower Maria was far more exhausted that she would like to admit. Either she was a lot more out of shape than she had thought, or the accident in the pod had taken more out of her than she had expected. She was leaning towards the second, because as bad as she felt, Romanoff looked much worse. The woman was still a little green around the gills and was clearly struggling to concentrate. Maria was glad that Barton had been along, so that he could pilot with her as co-pilot, leaving Romanoff to lean tiredly in the back with Rogers. Her exhaustion warred with irritation – both at Clint and at herself. Rookie mistake, getting caught up in strange technology like that. She was definitely rusty in the field.

As they disembarked, leaving the jet to the ministrations of some of Tony's mechanics, Rogers caught her by the elbow. “Go get checked out by a proper doc” he said, annoyingly earnest voice fully in force.

A small, well buried part or Maria bristled and automatically wanted to refuse everything when he used that tone. Something about his 'Captain America' persona brought out her inner teenager. Firmly, she tamped down on her mutinous expression. “I just need to get some rest.” She tried brushing him off, but he was determined.

“After a check up. If you don't, how am I going to get Natasha to?”

Maria glared at him, but even she would admit that it was a half-hearted attempt. “Fine”

Steve smiled briefly, gave her a little nod, and left. Presumably to track down Romanoff and bully her into having a check up as well. Grumbling under her breath Maria mentally wished him luck with that, and headed for the medical bay.

 

* * *

 

 

So far, Maria had been having a good day. Sparring with Steve first thing in the morning after a medical follow-up (annoyingly he had been right about sending them to medical after the Yucatan op a few weeks ago) was followed by Stark upgrading his suit in a way that was actually useful and so far had not caused any drama. Romanoff had been working with Banner on a way to calm down the Big Guy, code named 'lullaby' and while the whole idea made Maria oddly nervous she did have to admit that it seemed to be working well. It was certainly nice to see Banner relax a little in the knowledge that there was someone who could communicate with the Hulk (Maria would prefer it if more people were involved - you never knew who would be available on missions so relying on Romanoff alone seemed to be asking for trouble). After making her way to her office she had managed a full two hours without interruption, making a significant dent in her in-tray.

“Commander Hill, please report to the medical floor”

Maria blinked. It was only this morning that she had been told her results were fine, surely nothing could have changed since then? Which meant that something else had gone wrong, and her day was about to take a nose-dive. With a sigh and a stretch she stood, slapped a couple of post-it notes on her current pile of forms and made her way down to medical.

A harassed looking nurse showed her directly into one of the private rooms. She was surprised to see Agent Romanoff there, looking somewhere between shocked and murderous. Granted, murderous was a fairly common expression for the assassin, but shock was most definitely not, so Maria immediately felt herself tensing. The fact that Natasha would not even glance in her direction didn't help the feeling of panic rising in her chest. Seated on a stool was a doctor - Harper, a transfer from SHIELD, who was managing not to appear too intimidated by the assassin glowering in the corner of her exam room.

“What seems to be the problem?” Maria asked, shooting quick glances between the two women.

“Director Hill, would you like to take a seat?”

“I would rather know what is going on” Maria replied icily, burying her unease beneath the cool exterior of Commander.

Dr Harper hesitated, as if unsure of how to continue, looking up at Romanoff as though half expecting her to talk. When she didn't so much as move the doctor swallowed and squared her shoulders. “Agent Romanoff's follow up blood results indicate that she is pregnant.”

“Excuse me?” Maria blinked, shaking her head quickly. “What?”

“She is pregnant”

There was a pause in which Maria's mind flitted from question to question. How? She knew of the ex Red Room agents infertility, it was one of the more barbaric aspects to her background file. When and who definitely sprung to mind, but were overshadowed by a much bigger issue.

“Why are you telling me?” Maria directed her words at the doctor, but glanced over at Romanoff. Natasha's expression didn't even flicker.

The doctor drew in a breath, then let it out slowly. “She requested that I did so.” There was another pause, Maria snapping her gaze to Natasha. After a moment Harper continued, gently “And it's yours.”

Only a lifetime of controlling her reactions stopped Maria from standing and leaving the room. Only her training caught the curses and accusations before they fell from her mouth. As it was she stared blankly at the doctor, frozen in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“That Yucatan mission last month where you were both rendered unconscious? Well, as far as our researchers can tell that pod you were in is some sort of medical device, either purely used for fertility issues or for a variety of procedures. We don’t know yet...” Maria gestured impatiently and the doctor gathered herself and stopped rambling. “Anyway, remember how you both had very low electrolyte levels on your return from that mission? Yours returned to normal fairly rapidly but Agent Romanoff's were much slower. We carried out further tests to find out why. A couple of days ago her hormone levels were similar to those of a woman in the fourth week of pregnancy. Today, the results were the same and we have confirmed it. She is pregnant. A genetic test proves that without doubt it is yours.”

Stunned, Maria's eyes flickered back to Romanoff, who was still avoiding looking at her. She sank slowly onto the stool offered by the doctor. “How?”

“We are still looking into that. I assume that you will want to look over our findings?”

Relieved that someone was thinking sensibly Maria nodded.

“Currently, things are progressing well within normal parameters”

“Normal parameters?” Maria couldn't help the tone of disbelief that she used.

“If someone had shown me these results with no background information I would have assumed that it was a perfectly normal early pregnancy. Which is reassuring. Obviously we have no real idea how things are going to progress” Romanoff flinched infinitesimally, the first reaction Maria had seen from her, “But personally I am leaning towards the assumption that as whoever built this technology knew exactly what they were doing, things will continue to progress normally. I feel that it should be entirely up to the two of you what happens next.” Again, there was a tiny twitch from the assassin that Maria only saw because she was looking for it.

“You feel?” she asked, dangerously softly, “Who feels otherwise?”

Dr Harper just sat back, meeting her gaze steadily. “That is not important” She help up a hand, preventing Maria from interrupting her, “I am lead on this, what I say goes and my staff will accept that. So, it is up to you.”

Maria held her eyes for a moment longer, then nodded slowly.

“Right. I realise that this is a lot to take in...” Maria was fairly sure her face was echoing the expression on Natasha's, “So I will send you both the data we have so far, and please come back with any questions. Obviously, frequent check-ups, no matter what your decisions, will be necessary” This last she added gently, directing it at Romanoff, as though she was well aware how the assassin would feel about that. Of course she was aware, Maria thought scathingly to herself, she was an ex SHIELD MD, she must be aware of Natasha's opinions of medical interventions.

With a curt nod the petite Russian left the room. Still feeling distinctly off-balance Maria thanked Harper and followed. She was surprised to see the other woman pause and wait for her just outside the med bay.

“So I guess we need to talk sometime, right?” Natasha said softly, subdued.

“Yeah” Maria agreed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Later?”

“Yeah” With that she walked briskly away, Maria watching her until she turned a corner.

“Fuck”

 

 

She spent the rest of the day holed up in her office, ostensibly working on tracking down a HYDRA cell in Bulgaria, but in reality she spent most of her time staring, distracted, out of the window. She had always been good at dealing with surprises, and this skill had been honed and perfected with her time at SHIELD. This surprise, however, was apparently too much for her to process. The sun had long since set when she admitted defeat and went in search of some food and drink.

Maria's senses started to prickle as soon as she stepped into the living space that had become the unofficial haunt of the Avengers and their associates. Spinning with narrowed eyes she saw Barton staring at her openly, Wilson beside him looking as calm as usual but with a small smile on his face. Rogers, standing by the coffee machine, had a pole-axed expression on his face made him look astonishingly gormless. And there, tucked up in a tight ball of tension in a corner of the sofa, was Natasha. She glanced up as Maria entered, a flash of… something… passing briefly over her face. She had told them. Of course she had. Maria couldn't blame her. Rogers and Barton had been there after all, and were her team. This entire mess was technically Barton's fault. Wilson, well, if Maria could have told anyone it would have been Sam, with his steady, optimistic view of the world. Really, it must be a good sign that she had talked about it instead of bottling everything up and pretending it wasn't happening. Right?

Maria shut the door with a quiet snap and shrugged off her blazer. “You better not be giving any of that to Natasha.” She snipped at Rogers as he finished stirring the coffee, and felt a flash of satisfaction at both his flinch and Romanoff's glare. Okay, so maybe she did mind that the assassin had spoken to the guys before she had said more than two sentences to Maria herself.

Swallowing hard she walked to the counter, doing her best not to stalk. Steve passed her a mug, gently touching her elbow as he did so. She gave him a slight nod of thanks and took a long drink to give herself time to recover her composure. There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

“So, weird alien tech one, Red Room zero” Barton smirked, breaking the tense silence.

Romanoff pinned him with a glare that made everyone else in the room, Maria included, draw back a little. Clint however just grinned widely, spreading his hands innocently.

“Too soon?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is harder than I thought it would be! Hope this chapter flows alright, I remain unconvinced about it


	3. Chapter 3 - Ultron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for discussion around abortion/adoption. Nothing graphic but the subject is there.

Not surprisingly, Natasha Romanoff could be frustratingly hard to find. Whenever Maria was feeling like she might be up to facing the conversations she knew the two of them needed to have, the assassin was nowhere to be seen. However, in the interest of fairness Maria did have to admit to occasionally burrowing away with her work somewhere obscure. On her return from a brief trip out to exchange information with Coulson and his team, Wilson had told her that Natasha had spent the entire four days of her absence stalking around the base, terrifying anyone who crossed her path. Between the two of them, it was perhaps understandable that they had managed to avoid being in the same room together for more than 10 minutes for the past few weeks. It was now getting to the point where Maria would wake at night, heart pounding with a vague feeling of urgency surrounding her. Each time she promised herself that tomorrow, tomorrow she would find Natasha and they would talk.

 

Except that this time tomorrow was the day that she finally got a lock on the location of Loki's Sceptre. Co-ordinating with both Coulson and the Avengers was a delicate dance, seeing as the latter did not know about the former, and it was a dance that kept her busy. So busy that she didn't notice that the Black Widow had gone on the mission along with her team.

It wasn't until the drama and rush of action was over that she became aware that Natasha had gone. She held back the flash of panic; what else would the Black Widow do? Sit at home waiting for others to save the world? As she made her way to the top of the tower with Dr Cho Maria sifted through her feelings. Would she have asked Natasha to stay behind? Would she ever expect her to? The ramp of the jet swung down smoothly, allowing Cho and her nurses to rush in to Barton. No, Maria realised with a sense of relief as she saw the battered group of heroes standing together, no she would not ask Natasha to stop. It was Natasha's choice, and it needed to be done, simple as that. Just for a moment the redhead glanced at her as she left the jet, as if expecting reprimands or anger. Maria merely gave herself the luxury of looking the other woman over for obvious injury, then nodding in acknowledgement. Natasha returned the nod, a slightly bemused expression settling in her eyes. Concentrating most of her attention on Steve and Tony, Maria watched as Natasha headed in, following Clint's stretcher.

 

Natasha was her usual svelte, graceful self that evening, charming the other party-goers with ease and relaxing a little in the company of her teammates. It would be easy to assume that all was fine with the spy, but Maria caught an occasional flash of hesitancy, a slight tension in her posture that suggested otherwise. There were times – not infrequent times – when Maria had to suppress the urge to shout “sod it!” at her job, her boss (Fury, Stark, it made no difference) and the world in general. Watching the Widow flirting determinedly with Banner was bringing on one of those moments. As was the approving looks Rogers was not so subtly shooting the pair. In many ways, Maria understood Steve better than the other Avengers. They were like two sides of the same coin, aiming for the same idealistic goals but with different paths. However, right now she wanted to punch his unintentionally sexist opinions down his throat. She resisted, deliberately turning away to talk to Rhodey. It wasn't Steve's fault that he had some hang-ups from growing up before the war. She was however going to hold Fury entirely responsible for Natasha's pursuit of Banner. For a man supposedly dead he certainly liked to meddle in the team he had told her to protect. Yes, Banner needed reasons to stay, but Natasha was the wrong angle. Fury should have concentrated on Stark instead. He should have asked Maria for her take on the situation, but no, no he knew best and this was his solution, despite the fact that he was well aware of the Yucatan mission and all that had followed. Grinding her teeth Maria sipped her drink, trying to tune in to the conversation in front of her rather than fuming over the way Fury was treating Natasha like nothing more than an asset. This was a celebration, a chance to relax with people she cared about and admired. Even if they did drive her up the wall at times... With a mental shake she smiled, working with Rhodey to tease Tony and Thor.

 

 

Looking back during the days that followed the Ultron event, Maria was glad that she had calmed herself and stayed at the party. Hell, she was even glad that Natasha had been flirting with Banner. How the situation could have played out if just one thing had been different... well, they would never know, and Maria for one was grateful for that. The confusion, dawning horror and crystallised panic that came after the revelation of Stark and Banners latest project was intense, the emotional memory haunting her even as she made her way to her house out of town. She needed space to recuperate from the drama, and now that everyone was back safely (apart from Bruce, but Maria had faith in his abilities to survive) and the world was not in any immediate danger of falling apart she was going to take some time to herself to process all that had happened.

She walked in to the foyer, tossing her keys with the ease of long practice into the bowl on the sideboard. Briefly she considered going back out to visit her neighbours and fetch Murphy, but the heavy exhaustion in her limbs convinced her to wait until morning. She could manage a night without the comforting company of her dog. Shedding her shoes and jacket she padded into the kitchen, setting some water to boil for tea before slipping into a large, comfortable hoodie. Sinking to a stool to wait for the water to heat she sighed, running a hand tiredly through her hair. Images from the past few days flashed through her mind: Stark, pale-faced but determined; the shock and fierce joy on their agents faces when she and Nick asked them to fly the old helicarrier again; Wanda, covered in dust and ash being supported by Clint; stubborn Natasha limping around after the battle to find Nick, accepting a hand under her elbow. Shaking her head firmly Maria grounded herself in the present, grabbing her mug and heading out to sit on the porch.

 

She hadn't been out there long when she heard a car pull up on the loose gravel of her drive. A door shut heavily then someone (just one person, small to medium height, no hesitation in their steps, Maria noted subconsciously) made their way to the house. There was a few minute of silence, no thumps or creaks from her house, then the porch door slid open. Soft footsteps padded over the decking, pausing a few meters away.

“We need to talk.”

Maria didn't jump, didn't show any reaction at all. She was tired. So very, very tired, and exposed, and aching inside and out. There was a scrape as another chair was pulled out from the table. Maria turned her head slightly in time to see Natasha curling herself up into it.

“You have a dog.”

“I do have a dog,” Maria allowed, voice a little raspy from all the shouting and smoke she had been exposed to in the battle.

“You have never mentioned a dog before,” there was a small frown between Natasha's eyes.

Maria smiled humourlessly. “We never went in for sharing personal stuff before.”

Natasha accepted that with a tilt of her head.

“Murphy. My brother works with the canine unit of the police. Murphy was one of their pups who failed to pass the final exams. She stays with a neighbour when I have to be away.”

One corner of Natasha's mouth quirked up. “I sort of have a cat.”

“Sort of?”

“Yeah… she adopted me.”

This time Maria smiled more genuinely. “That, I can actually imagine.”

“What?”

“You being manipulated by a cat.” Even as she said it Maria was inwardly cursing her choice of words.

The frown returned to Natasha's face, but she didn't pull away. “Well, she is very good at it.”

There was a spell of quiet, Maria worrying that she had blown this opportunity to discuss what they were going though with the other woman. However Natasha made no move to leave. After a few minutes she turned in the chair to face Maria properly.

“You didn't say anything to stop me.”

Maria just gave her a questioning look. She was too worn out to guess what was going through Natasha's head.

“The sceptre, the robots, Ultron. You never told me to stay behind.”

“How could I? You're an Avenger. You were needed.”

Natasha let out a little snort.

Maria paused, trying to put into words what she knew in her gut, “What we do, it's more important than one person, or two, or three. No matter what Rogers says, sometimes you have to be willing to sacrifice the few to save the many. The world is more important than anything personal.” She saw Natasha tilt her head, obviously picking up that Maria had heard what she said to Steve when all hope seemed lost on Sokovia. “You are the best, and you're not stupid, or reckless. That’s all I ask. And I ask it of everyone, not just you. Plus, what right have I got to tell you what to do?”

“More than anyone else,” Natasha murmured, turning away to face the garden.

For a moment Maria struggled to come up with a reply to that, then gave up, sighing tiredly. “Want a drink?” she asked, standing and gathering her mug.

“Sure,” Natasha said, a little distantly as though she was lost in thought.

 

Stepping back outside laden down with two fresh cups of mint tea and a couple of rugs Maria was almost surprised to see the assassin was still there on her porch. She passed her a rug and drink, which Natasha received with a grateful smile. They drank in companionable silence for a few minutes, then Natasha settled a bit deeper into the chair, turning her mug in her hands.

“Maximoff played with our minds, tried to break us. For me she replayed the Red Room graduation ceremony.” Natasha spoke quietly and shot a quick glance over at Maria through her eyelashes, as if checking she was aware what this was. “Even before...” her hand brushed unconsciously over her abdomen, “Well, there were plenty of more damaging memories she could have chosen to use. But that, that was what she thought would hurt the most… And it shook me, mind versus reality. I didn't know what I could trust.” She looked up properly, meeting Maria's gaze steadily. “I had made my peace with being unable to have children a long time ago. Honestly, I didn't – don't – think I am the sort of person who should be a parent even if that ceremony had not taken place.”

“I sense a 'but' here.”

“But,” Natasha said, the corners of her mouth curling up, “When I was up on that rock, so sure we were going to die… All I could think was not now. Please not now. And then you turned up in Ol' Bertha.”

“I still don't like that name for her,” Maria muttered, avoiding the raw expression in Natasha's eyes.

The redhead chuckled lightly, “We can't all get what we want Hill.”

“But sometimes we can.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

There was a pause, surprisingly comfortable. Maria stared out over the shadowy garden, content to wait for Natasha to feel ready to continue.

“I don't think I can get rid of her,” the redhead eventually said softly.

“Her?”

“Well, there is a distinct lack of Y chromosomes involved here, isn't there?” Natasha sounded amused.

Maria blinked, and just like that, 'it' became 'she'. She took a moment to wrap her mind around this, turning her mug in her hands. “Okay. Yeah, okay.”

“Okay?”

“I always told myself that this was your decision, and I would go along with whatever you want. I never wanted kids. But watching you fight, it was hard. Harder than usual.” Natasha shifted at that, but Maria ploughed on, “I wanted to be objective and rational. Turns out, I haven't been doing so well at that. So, okay.”

She turned to meet Natasha's eyes, somehow surprised at the emotions she could see swirling so close to the surface. Usually so guarded, the assassin was clearly dancing on her nerves, exposing herself as much as she could. Maria appreciated how hard that was and the fact that Natasha was comfortable enough to do so in front of her, and it solidified her gut feeling that this was the right thing to do. She smiled, watching as understanding dawned on the other woman's face.

“Huh” Natasha smiled in response, ducking her head almost shyly.

“I think I want to be involved though. Somehow. Whatever the plan is.”

“Honestly, I haven't thought any further ahead,” Natasha admitted, picking at a loose thread on her sleeve.

“Planning ahead is my thing,” Maria said with a self-depreciating smirk. “So,” she changed her tone on reflex, becoming slightly more business-like, “should we talk about that a bit now?”

“We are doing so well at not avoiding each other,” Natasha said dryly, “Why stop now?”

“Do you want to raise her?” Maria asked, making herself drop the impersonal tone again. Commander Hill had no place here.

“I...” Natasha hesitated, small crease between her eyes. “I don't know.” There was frustration and defeat in her voice.

“Okay,” Maria said easily, having expected this, “D'you want me to go first?”

“Be my guest,” Natasha waved a hand, clearly trying to disguise her discomfort.

“I'm happy for you to raise her,” she saw Natasha blink, the only outward sign of surprise she would allow. “If we are keeping her, really keeping her, then I would prefer for us both to raise her, somehow. I don't think a child can have too many people around who love them.” Natasha tilted her head to one side, intently focussed on what she was saying, body language and all. Maria took a breath, “Adoption could be considered, but taking into account her origins, not many people would be trusted with her. So she would probably be placed in the system. SHEILD does have a history of doing that.”

“Us, or a life being monitored and moved?”

Maria lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “That's my assessment.”

“And you are good at assessing things.” Natasha shifted around in the chair, throwing her legs over one side and leaning back to stare at the trees.

“I have no doubt you could raise a child successfully. Yeah, it would be hard, and terrifying, but I've known you for years Natasha. You would do it so well,” Maria said softly. “If you want to, I am behind you on this.”

Natasha looked at her, green eyes deep in the gloom. “We. We can raise her successfully.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit longer this one.  
> I now have a better idea of a plan and a deadline - so fingers crossed we can make this work!


	4. Chapter 4 - Exam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria finds Coulson and May for some support and Natasha has to drink lots of tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some mention of medical procedures. Very mild, nothing detailed.

 

 

Maria ducked, feeling the brush of wind as a leg barely cleared her head. With a sharp grin she lashed out with a quick jab, following it with a sweep of her own leg that gave her a moment of breathing space.

“Glad to see you haven't gone soft sitting behind your desk all day.”

“You try running around after the Avengers, see how soft you get.”

May flicked her hair off her face with a feral smile, then launched a vicious kick at Maria's torso, forcing her to drop and roll to avoid it. She bounced back up, adrenaline coursing through her veins. This was just what she needed.

 

 

Hours later Maria was sprawled in one of the chairs in Phil's office, swirling the beer in her bottle thoughtfully.

“So what are you going to do now?” Phil asked, taking a swig from his own drink.

Good question. She had come out here with the intention of checking up on the new SHIELD base, see how they were managing, test their defences for herself. She had also wanted to appraise both May and Coulson of the Yucatan incident in person. It was safer that way, electronic communication could always be hacked. Besides, they had trained her and she really felt the need for a C.O right now. Phil was good at this sort of thing; the caring, gentler side of humanity that she suppressed so thoroughly she wasn't even sure she was capable of it any more. May was the voice of ruthless reason that had gotten her through so much in the past, and Maria trusted her in way she did few others. They had taken the news with the outward calmness only people who had spent the past few months working with Inhumans could manage to pull off.

“Wish I knew,” she took another gulp of beer.

“You're going to protect that kid,” May said firmly, “that's what you are going to do.”

Maria looked over at them, Phil behind his desk and Mel perched on one corner of it, feeling like a new recruit overwhelmed with a seemingly impossible task. It was as if the last ten years just dropped away, as if she was that young, inexperienced Captain again.

“How? I told Natasha I wanted to be involved, but how can someone like me even begin to do that?” she asked softly, picking at the label on her bottle.

“Contingency plans.”

“Support Natasha,” Phil added.

“Make sure there is a world for her to grow up in. A world worth growing up in.”

“Be there for her. For both of them.”

“Good luck,” May said slyly, a tiny smile pulling the corner of her mouth up.

Maria huffed out a laugh, “Thanks for that. Oh, I'm going to tell her about you not being dead as well. I can't hide this from her.”

Phil winced.

“Good luck,” Maria smirked.

 

* * *

 

 

While she hadn't exactly avoided Maria since the revelation of Phil Coulson's survival, Natasha did have to admit that she had spent less time than usual in the former deputy's company. Though she had found that she almost missed the other woman's quiet presence and biting humour, she knew herself well enough to know that she needed space to deal with everything she had learned. Maria had let her know that it was cleared for her to bring Clint in on the secret as well (not that anything would have stopped her from telling him, but even so it was oddly nice to have Maria pre-empt her), and Laura had called her at least daily since then to give her updates on which part of the house Clint was working his emotions out on. Natasha easily saw through this charade, reassuring Laura that she was fine, she was just exhausted. Okay, and a little mad. But mostly fine. Even so, her friend still called to check in. From anyone else, this would have been unacceptable. From Laura, it was somehow alright.

Now though, now she found herself making her way to Maria's office, a purposefulness in her steps that made the few people around leap out of her way or retreat down side corridors despite the fact she wasn't entirely sure why she was going there. Sometimes, a voice on the end of a phone wasn't enough to unravel the cold knot in her chest.

 

She stalked in through the door, not bothering to knock. “My suit doesn't fit any more.”

“It was going to happen,” Maria said in a distracted tone, glancing up briefly from her computer.

“Do not try to be funny about this,” she snapped. She was seething, feeling off-balance and hating it.

“I'm not,” Maria looked up properly, a slightly worried expression in her eyes now. “Are you okay?”

Well, that was a loaded question. Natasha moved to the window, glaring out over the peaceful training ground. This new base was still unnaturally quiet, most of the personnel had yet to move over. The lack of chaos and bustling agents was putting her on edge, adding to the tension she could feel building in her gut. With a sigh she rested her forehead on the cool glass and closed her eyes. She heard the creak of a chair, felt a shift in the air, then a warm hand rested on her shoulder.

“You okay?” Maria repeated softly.

Natasha gave a one armed shrug, a little shake of her head, then sighed again. “Yeah.”

“Well, you sound reassuringly confident of that,” Maria's voice was low, a faint ripple of amusement mixing with the concern. Was that fondness she could hear? Surely not.

The hand on her shoulder was comforting, and Natasha allowed herself the luxury of a moment to sink into it, before turning and pasting a smile on her face. Maria gave her a look that told her she wasn't fooled.

Swallowing, Natasha made herself meet the taller woman's eyes. “Things are changing so fast, and there's no time to get used to it.”

“You know, I can relate to that a bit,” Maria said with a wry smile, “but I can't imagine how much harder it must be for you.”

“Yeah, well,” Natasha shrugged again, “I'll cope.”

“You always do,” Maria agreed, “Just remember I am here, okay? Just because you can cope doesn't mean you shouldn't have support.”

Natasha smiled again, more naturally this time. “Will do.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Commander Hill, please report to medical.”

Maria froze, what could possibly have happened now? There were no missions on at the moment, no agents out in the field. There wasn't even any big training sessions set up for today, with everyone still settling in to the new base. When she arrived in the medical centre, so new it still smelled like paint, the stoical receptionist pointed immediately towards one of the exam rooms. Maria didn't even slow down, knocking perfunctorily on the door and walking in.

Whatever she was expecting, Natasha Romanoff having a physical was not high on the list. The young doctor (Green, she was sure that was her name, one of the recently hired staff members for the new headquarters) had an exasperated expression on her face and a folder in her hands, and Natasha was standing, arms crossed defensively, in the corner.

“What's going on?” Maria asked, looking to Natasha who just shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

“We need to do an internal exam,” Green said, clearly trying to sound calm.

“Why? Is something wrong?” Natasha shot her a quick look, but Maria was focussed on the doctor.

“No, no. But we need to take measurements and check the placenta, and the baby is in the wrong position for the external ultrasound to be effective.”

Maria glanced back to Natasha, who tightened her arms almost imperceptibly. “Is it necessary?”

“Measuring your child? Yes.”

“I mean, can't it wait until the baby's moved around a bit? They do that, right?”

Green pursed her lips, a little impatiently. “I do have other patients to see.”

“Your boss's boss's boss says take your time,” Maria said tightly, working to keep her voice even. “Where's Harper?”

“Korea. Of the current medical staff here, I have the most experience in this area, so she has briefed me to act as her second when she is not here.”

Maria held Green's gaze for a long moment, then nodded. “Okay,” she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and looked at Natasha, “How do we make a baby move?”

Natasha snorted softly and shrugged.

The doctor sighed, closing the folder. “Exercise, eating, hot drinks. They tend to work.”

“Okay… Is the external ultrasound wand going to be alright?”

Natasha gave a jerky nod.

“Right. We will be back in an hour.”

With that she left, trusting that Natasha would be so keen on getting out of the office that she would follow.

 

 

Natasha was pacing alongside the windows at the back the cafeteria, agitation rolling off her in waves. Maria had never seen the Russian this visibly upset before. Well, at least it counted as exercise. Although she was sure someone had told her that stress was bad for pregnant people… she shrugged mentally – there was no way she could remove stress from Natasha's life.

Maria smiled at the server in thanks as she scooped up muffins and fruit tea. She settled at a table in the corner, taking a small sip of tea and pulling out her tablet to flick through some emails.

“You hate fruit tea,” a low, amused voice came from behind her.

Maria looked up as Natasha slid gracefully into the chair opposite.“I thought this time I might like it.”

Natasha's lips twitched.

Maria sighed and rolled her eyes a bit. “I didn't think I could have coffee in front of you.”

Natasha tilted her head to one side, considering, “I probably would have to kill you, yes.”

With a smile Maria tore a chunk off her muffin and hummed happily around it, deleting yet another design suggestion for flamethrowers from Tony.

“Hungry much?”

Maria pushed the tablet away, concentrating on the other woman. “I didn't have time for lunch.” Noticing the way that Natasha's fingers twisted together tensely she added “So if you don't feel like eating yours...” She left the sentence hanging, teasing.

Natasha smiled and reached for the cake, taking a small bite. “You don't have to wait here.”

Recognising the assassin drawing her walls back around herself Maria just shook her head. “I'm good,” she said.

Natasha regarded her carefully, bemused. “You didn’t have time for lunch but you have time to waste here?”

Maria just shrugged, not quite sure if the other woman genuinely wanted her to leave or not. There was a long and faintly uncomfortable pause while Natasha scrutinised her closely, then sat back with her tea and smirked.

“You really want a coffee don’t you?”

“God yes,” Maria said, and Natasha nodded towards the self service machines lined up against the wall.

“Go on then.”

Maria hopped up and made her way over to get a drink, feeling Natasha's eyes following her the whole time. Honestly, she wasn't sure if she could take many more months of being observed this hard by the worlds most accomplished spy. She was going to develop a complex, possibly accompanied by a nervous twitch. Sitting back down she inhaled deeply then swallowed at least half of the mug in three large gulps.

“Thank you,” she said, closing her eyes in exaggerated bliss.

Natasha smirked again, her fingers fiddling with the muffin wrapper. “Thank you for earlier,” she said softly.

“Oh, it wasn't for you. Do you know how hard it is to find medical professionals who are qualified to work here? I don’t need you to scare any of them off,” Maria winked and Natasha laughed, her shoulders relaxing back and her expression lightening somewhat.

 

 

“Right, lets see if baby's moved around at all.”

“She should have, I drank two fruit teas,” Natasha grumbled.

If she looked stiff and uncomfortable on the bed then Maria was pretty sure she was the only one who noticed – the Widow's confident mask was almost fully in place.

“Do you want me to…?” Maria gestured at the door.

“You can stay if you want,” Natasha said airily, but Maria caught the way her hand fisted by her side.

“Sure, why not,” Maria perched on a stool out of the way. “Lets see how stubborn little Romanoff junior is.”

“Well...” the doctor moved the wand around a bit, “The tea has done it's job, and everything looks normal. I'll just take the measurements now.”

Letting out a huff of relief Maria saw Natasha close her eyes briefly. Shifting a bit closer to the screen she tried to make sense of the grainy image.

“See anything?” Natasha asked.

“Nothing that looks recognisable. You?”

“Nope.”

They shared a quick smile, Maria finding her eyes being drawn back to the picture. She felt Natasha brush a finger over her hand lightly and her smile widened.

“That might be a leg,” she said thoughtfully. “Or arm?”

“That's feedback,” the doctor said practically. “Right, I'm finished and everything is fine. Would you like a copy of the pictures so I can point out body parts?”

Maria glanced down at Natasha, who appeared to be struggling to keep her calm and in control act up. “Yes please.”

After explaining the pictures to them the doctor and her assistant left to allow Natasha to clean the goo off herself. Maria sat in the corner holding the little cards they had been given carefully, not entirely sure what to do with them.

“I have to be honest, I still can't see much.”

Natasha let out a hum of amusement. “I promise not to tell her that you confused a foot with her head.”

“I would appreciate that,” Maria smiled, enjoying the fact that she got to see the teasing side to Natasha.

The redhead hopped off the bed smoothly and gathered her jacket, then turned to Maria, squaring her shoulders slightly, a reluctant expression on her face. She hesitated, then spoke hurriedly, “It wasn't just this exam… I understand that there needs to lots of tests and monitoring. I get that there's a lot of people very interested in this pregnancy, I do, but that doesn't mean I like it. I can see why it's important and still hate it.”

In a way, Maria was not surprised. If she was feeling unhappy about the amount of tests then Natasha had to be feeling a hundred times worse. She was oddly touched that the assassin had told her up front though.

“I don't think there's anything I can do to reduce that,” she said softly, apologetically.

Natasha rolled her eyes with a little half smile. “You don't have to fix everything, Hill.”

“Says who?”

“Me,” the redhead said simply. “And thank you. For not letting me scare off the medical staff.” With that she turned and left.

“No problem,” Maria whispered to the now empty room.


	5. Chapter 5 - Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Hopefully. Anyway, due to unforseen real life I am now well behind where I wanted to be. So things might have to be adapted...  
> Hope this chapter isn't too rusty

It was one of those sticky hot afternoons where even the birds had given up, sitting silently in shady trees waiting for the cool of evening. Natasha had been spending increasing amounts of time out at Maria's house, never staying the night but seeming to relax more and more with each visit. She was currently moving her way around the house while talking on the phone, trying to find the most comfortable spots. Maria just left her to it: the unpleasant heat made the redhead grouchy and unpredictable and Maria hadn't survived this long by being stupid. She stayed in the kitchen with a good supply of iced water, struggling to plan out an idea that she had been nursing for a week or so. She was on the verge of giving up (again) when Natasha padded in.

“Laura wants to talk to you,” she said, passing Maria the phone and stealing away her glass of water.

Maria took it, bemused. “Hello?”

“Maria!” Maria had met Laura Barton twice, on SHIELD business, and could imagine the bright smile on her face. “I keep meaning to invite you up to visit, but Nat is being cagey with me.”

“She is?” Maria felt like she was lagging a few steps behind, “Isn't that sort of standard for her?”

Laura chuckled, “Point. So, are you free next weekend? It would be nice to meet you properly.”

“Uh, sure,” Maria glanced at Natasha, who had settled back down on the sofa, absently petting Murphy as the german shepherd gazed adoringly up at her. “My neighbours are away though, can I bring the dog?”

“Is she alright with other animals?”

“Yes.”

“Kids?”

“Well, if she eats yours I will keep her away from mine,” Maria replied dryly.

Laura laughed. “Fair enough, she's welcome. Nat knows the way. See you then.”

“Okay.” Maria was left staring at the phone, slightly bewildered.

“So I take it you've been organised?” Natasha asked from her position on the couch. Maria nodded. “She does that. You better get used to it.”

 

 

Natasha drove to the Barton's farm. It had seemed like a sensible idea as she knew where she was going, but she noticed the way that Maria was fidgeting in the passenger seat, glancing out of the window and repeatedly checking on Murphy in the back, and wondered if maybe giving the other woman something to do might have been a better plan. This was most uncharacteristic of the calm, controlled commander she was used to.

“If I didn't know better,” she said, indicating for a turn, “I would say that you were nervous.”

“Nervous? Of what, meeting your family? Nah, why would I be.” Maria went back to looking out of the window, shoulders stiff.

Natasha blinked. Oh. There was a long pause as she tried to figure out what the right thing to say at this point was. “You know, Clint wouldn't give you shit if he didn't like you.”

Maria turned and let out a bark of surprised laughter, followed by a thoughtful hum as Natasha started up the well hidden driveway that led to the farmhouse.

 

Laura had clearly warned the kids not to jump on her, for which she was grateful. Even so, they ran out to meet her with enthusiastic hugs, eyeing Maria with suspicious curiosity. She looped an arm around each of them as they walked up to the house, Maria following with their bags. The tall woman had a focussed expression on her face, as though she was trying to take in every detail. Natasha suppressed a sigh. It would be typical if the one place she could relax was the place that set off Maria's spidey-senses.

Clint met them on the porch with a broad grin, baby Nate cradled in one arm. He hugged her with the free one and smirked as Maria theatrically dropped the bags with a groan.

“Kids, this is Maria. She's my boss and Aunty Nat's friend, so be nice.”

Natasha smiled as Cooper turned back to Maria with a far more welcoming expression. “Mom says you have a dog?”

“Yep,” Maria nodded, “I will get her out of the car in a minute.”

“Cool,” the boy grinned, “Lucky will love her!” He pointed at a shaggy labrador, rolling in the grass. “Is she trained? Lucky isn't very good.”

Natasha snorted. That was an understatement, and Maria smiled. “Yeah, she's trained. She was going to be a police dog, but failed the final exam.”

“Dogs have exams?” Lila piped up, hanging off Natasha's arm in a semi-possessive way.

“Police dogs do.”

Both children were wide eyed with amazement at this concept, Cooper looking longingly towards the car were Murphy waited patiently. Clint chuckled, prodding his son out of the way. “Come inside and sit down.”

 

Laura appeared not long later, chiding Clint for not feeding them and greeting Nat in the same breath, before introducing herself to Maria. Natasha could feel the tension slipping away from Maria and by supper time she was almost relaxed. It was hard to be uncomfortable around Laura Barton.

 

That evening, with her feet buried in Murphy's thick fur and little Nathaniel resting peacefully in her arms, she smiled at the sound of Laura and Maria in the kitchen behind her. Laura had clearly been resisting the urge to question Maria at supper, but had given in now, blaming it on being stuck in the house with the baby and no adult conversation. Maria seemed to be coping well, giving Laura real answers rather than glib, SHIELD spiel.

“That's a good thing, right?” Natasha whispered to her little namesake, and he blinked drowsily up at her.

“Aunty Nat,” Lila bouncing in, a stack of books in her hands, “you did promise.”

“I did, you're right. Find me someone to take your brother, and then you can pick one.”

“Two?” Lila asked, beseechingly.

Natasha's lips twitched with amusement, “maybe.”

“Yesss!” Lila bounded into the kitchen, and moments later Maria appeared.

“I have been sent to collect the sprog,” she said, crouching at Natasha's side.

“Wow, trust level 10,” Natasha joked, manoeuvring Nate into Maria's arms.

Maria shot her a mock glare, then stood slowly and walked out with exaggerated care. Natasha could just hear the faint sounds of her crooning to the baby as she did so. She was not going to admit that she found that cute. Not even under torture.

Lila poked her head back in, impatiently. “Alright, I'm coming,” Natasha said as she heaved herself upright.

 

 

Maria drove them back the following evening, appearing to be lost in her thoughts. She had had an air of distraction to her, ever since she and Clint had headed off for a walk earlier that day, and it was driving Natasha crazy. Clint had refused to say anything when she accosted him before they left, holding up his hands in surrender and telling her to talk to Maria. Well, there was no escape for the commander now.

“So, that went well,” Natasha started, in a conversational tone.

“Yeah,” Maria flicked a quick smile at her, “they're good people. You don't have to tell Barton I said that.”

Natasha scoffed quietly. “The kids liked you.”

“Yeah? And neither of us dropped the baby.”

“Always a plus. Murphy didn't eat the baby.” The dog looked up at her name, tail thumping briefly on the car seat.

“Definitely a plus.”

“So what is on your mind?” If Natasha was hoping to lull Maria into an easy answer she was sadly disappointed – distracted or not, this was the deputy director of SHIELD she was talking to. There was a long pause, so long that she felt herself becoming uncomfortable, and then Maria spoke, a little hesitantly.

“Have you thought about where you want to live? I mean, I know there's your flat, and your apartment at Stark Tower. And there's always my place. I just… wondered if you would prefer somewhere a bit more off the grid?”

Natasha stared at her profile, mind blank. She hadn't even considered that far ahead. She saw a flush starting to creep up Maria's neck. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Uh, a couple of weeks. I kept trying to come up with some options for you, but it wasn't going anywhere.”

Natasha nodded slowly. That explained a few things.

“I mentioned it to Clint and Laura. I mean, they know you pretty well,” Maria said with a self depreciating shrug, “and they thought you probably would want somewhere else. Somewhere you could feel safe.”

There was a moment of silence as Maria negotiated a junction. Natasha tried to pull her thoughts into some sort of order and failed. Just when she had got herself on an even keel this woman came along and did something to push her off course again. Not only was she having a baby but now she had to think about moving house as well… it was getting too much. Stifling a soft noise of distress she rubbed at her forehead.

“It's not… it doesn't have to be a worry,” Maria continued, “if it is something you want, or even something you think you might want, I will sort it out.”

“Just like that,” Natasha tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

“Well, yeah,” Maria said, “it's what I'm here for, right? Besides, it's something I am good at.”

Natasha leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. Honestly, could she feel safe with a child in her flat? Certainly not at the Tower. And while Maria's house was lovely, it was listed under her name. HYDRA could find it with ease. Which left finding a new place. None of her current safe houses were in places she would want to take a baby. Not through choice. And here Maria was giving her a choice. Not only that, she seemed almost eager for the chance to provide this for them. Natasha sighed. She kept forgetting that she wasn't the only one going through this.

“Well, what's your plan then? You thought of the problem, there's no way Agent Hill would leave it at that and not come up with a solution.”

“Actually, I wasn't doing very well at the solution end of things,” Maria said apologetically, “until I spoke to Barton and he mentioned the old barns down on the farm. You know the ones just down the hill? We went to have a look at them this morning. He and Laura have offered them to us, if you want them. I could convert them into a proper home, if that is what you would like.”

Natasha sat back, shocked. This was not an option she had considered. Maria kept shooting her concerned glances, but she was past caring. After a few minutes her brain started to work, considering the pro's and con's, remembering what she could about the old storage barns, feeling a growing sense of relief at the realisation that the farm was the one place she felt safe. The Barton's had offered her the ultimate gift.

“I have no idea what to get Clint for Christmas now,” she muttered.

Maria grinned sharply, her shoulders relaxing. “How about a goddaughter?”


	6. Chapter 6 - Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short one this time

Looking back, Maria could pinpoint the moment when things went wrong. She had been watching a simulated fight that Steve had set up in a large practice room to test the new Avengers. She was observing from a purpose built raised walkway, impressed with how thorough he had been. Wanda and Sam were pinned behind a barrier when Rhodey had come in, War Machines guns blazing. And Wanda had snapped. It seemed likely that the training had hit too close to home, had brought flashbacks of her brother's death and she had collapsed, a violent red wave of energy pulsing from her body. Sam and Maria, the two closest people not protected by one of Tony's suits, had both taken a huge hit, Sam being forced back against a wall while Maria had been tumbled like a leaf from the walkway. After that, she remembered nothing.

 

* * *

 

Maria gradually became aware of her surroundings, feeling the rough sheets beneath her fingers and focussing on the cool whisper of the air conditioning. After a few moments of just breathing, slowly and carefully noting any areas of tenderness, she squinted one eye open, relieved to find the room was lit softly. Slight movement from one corner of the room caught her attention and she twisted, letting out a small grunt of pain. To her surprise, Natasha was nestled in one of the visitors chairs, somehow managing to fit in the limited space even with her ever-growing bump. She watched for a few minutes, giving herself time for the world to stop spinning, but the redhead didn't look at her, say anything, or acknowledge that she was awake in any way. Realising that this silence could go on for longer than she was going to be able to stay awake for, Maria cleared her throat carefully.

“Nat?” she rasped.

Natasha glanced up, face pinched and pale.

“Hi?”

Natasha licked her lips, running a hand through her hair. “Hey.” Her voice was rough.

“You okay?”

Natasha snorted, sending her a quick, ferocious glare.

“You're upset?” Maria asked hesitantly, unsure.

“I am furious.” Maria could just see the glitter of Natasha's eyes, saw her curl up in the chair a little tighter. After a moment she continued, “Wanda won't come here, she feels too guilty. I don't want her to inadvertently see inside my head right now.”

“It was an accident.”

“I know that Hill,” Natasha growled, “That's why I don't want her picking up on stuff right now.”

Maria felt like she was a few steps behind. “Okay?”

Natasha huffed, staring hotly at something Maria couldn't see.

 

There was a pause, in which Maria closed her eyes, trying to sooth the ache in her head. After a moment she heard a rustle as Natasha shifted.

“You can't leave me to do this,” she said quietly, an unusual intensity to her voice.

“I won't,” Maria struggled to try and sit upright then gave up, settling on turning to face Natasha properly. “I'm not going anywhere.”

Natasha snorted again and met her gaze for a brief second before going back to staring at the wall. “Until the next accident? Or the one after that? I can not do this by myself. I am not… what if I can't…”

Maria felt her chest constrict. It was so unusual, so hard for Natasha to show any sign of needing people. “You won't have to do this by yourself.”

Natasha just growled again.

“Seriously. Okay, in the unlikely event that something happens to me? You have Clint and Laura, they know what they are doing. And Steve and Sam would be there. Nick, he would help in anyway he could. Sharon. May. You will not be left with this alone. I promise.”

“I need you,” Natasha's voice was low, desperate. “If I can't… If I can't love her, you will.”

Maria tried to reach for the other woman without thinking and hissed with the pain from her ribs. “Dammit, Nat,” she whispered, “you already love her. I can see it, even if you can't.”

There was a long silence, then Natasha unwound herself from the chair, graceful as ever. Stepping forwards she grasped Maria's chin firmly, turning her head so that she could examine the abrasions and bruises on her temple with a clinical, almost detached expression. Maria recognised the activity as a way for Natasha to shelve the vulnerability and gain back some control, but she was surprise by the gentle tenderness of her touch and the concern in her eyes. “You are terrible at giving comforting speeches,” she eventually said softly, running a finger over the largest of the grazes.

“And I will do everything in my power to stay and go through this with you,” Maria added, “I should probably have led with that.”

A tiny smile flashed across Natasha's face, so fast that Maria thought she had imagined it. “Yeah. Start with that next time.” With that she left, slipping quietly out of the door and leaving a very confused Maria behind.


	7. Chapter 7 - Arrival

As far as life changing days went, this one starting in an incredibly boring fashion. Maria was at her desk, already on her third cup of coffee and was working through a ridiculously large set of application forms. So far she had snapped at three assistants, felt guilty about two of them (she was going to have reassign the third. To somewhere far away), and had not seen Natasha at all. It wasn't that she was avoiding the other woman exactly… it was just that she was so obviously going to have a baby at any moment that just looking at her made Maria's stomach contract in a cold ball of fear.

 

However, boredom rarely lasted long in Maria's experience, and if anything was guaranteed to add excitement it was a call from Fury.

“Hill. I need you and Rogers.”

“Sir?” Maria asked, keeping her voice bland and non-committal, turning to another form.

“I need to you go to Monaco.”

“Monaco?” Maria set the papers aside and started paying attention, “why?”

He grunted. “I'll send you a brief. It's not Stark this time, it's political. Go smile at the right people and look like threats are our second choice rather than first.”

“This is really not a good time for me sir,” Maria said, rubbing the bridge of her nose tiredly.

“Tough.”

“Nat...”

“Romanoff is a big girl. We need to step on this before political becomes messy,” he spoke over her and she bit her cheek to stop herself snapping back.

“You can explain that to her then,” she said after a minute, far too evenly. She hung up and dropped her head into her hands as a 'ping' signalled the arrival of Fury's brief. “Dammit.” Natasha was going to kill her. Slowly and inventively.

With a sigh Maria got up, she really needed to find Nat now and let her know, however pissed off she was with Fury he didn't deserve the wroth of the Black Widow.

 

 

Hours later, Maria would have to admit that if you wanted people who could smile in a way that suggested their next step would be less pleasant, she and Rogers were two of the best. Even better, if anyone thought too hard about it Steve would blink his innocent baby blues and no one would believe him capable of threats. Even well hidden ones. And she actually found herself enjoying working alongside him: he had a clean, planned approach to matters that married well with her own style. They managed to insert themselves into the party as though they had always been on the guest list, found the people who needed reminding that the Avengers still existed, and exited as fast as was polite. As missions went it was far more efficient and much less messy than usual.

Back at their hotel room Maria gratefully changed out of the dress and heels. If only she could turn up to these events in her cargo's and boots… Switching on her phone she felt her chest constrict and swore. Three missed calls from Clint, two from Laura and one text from Natasha:

_where the fuck are you?!?_

Steve noticed her distraction and paused in his packing, shooting her a wide eyed look.

“Shit.” She rubbed at the back of her neck, distractedly.

“She's not…?”

“I think so,” Maria swallowed hard and rapidly called Clint, “I am in so much trouble.”

Luckily he replied on the second ring. “Hey. You are in so much trouble.”

“What's happening?” Maria asked, trying to suppress the frantic tone in her voice.

“Well, your kids decided to make her appearance.”

Maria's heart contracted. “Is she…?”

“She's not here yet. Nat's fine.” Maria could hear Natasha's voice, muffled but vehement in the background. “She is fine, ignore that. She requests your presence.”

“On my way," Maria promised, hanging up and turning to Steve with a wild-eyed expression, "We have to leave. Now."

 

What followed was one of the more stressful journeys she had experienced in her long and exciting career (and yes, that included the time she had escorted a pissed off Tony Stark and guilty Bruce Banner to a tribunal in Johannesburg). She called Nick, filled with a furious pent up energy, and proceeded to make absolutely no sense what so ever. Steve gently removed the phone from her clenched fist and proceeded to guilt trip the former director of SHIELD into organising flights home and a chopper to the hospital where Clint had taken Natasha. Then he had steered her through various security checks and waiting areas, a small crease of worry between his eyes. Natasha was important to him, Maria remembered slightly belatedly as they flew over endless sea. She patted his arm a little distractedly and got a smile in return.

 

Their arrival at the hospital was a blur of signs and scrub suits, Maria stalking through corridors with a facial expression that made staff and patients alike leap out of her way. Eventually they reached the right area, and she was pleasantly surprised to see Dr Harper making faces at a vending machine in the waiting area. The doctor looked up at their arrival, a relieved smile crossing her face.

“Commander. Good timing.”

“You're here.” Maria said blankly. She felt like she was two steps behind everyone else and was struggling to catch up.

“I am. Unofficially. Just in case.”

Maria felt an icy grip in her chest, “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, it's all going fine. Perfectly normally.”

Maria let out a breath. She hadn't been aware until this moment just how much fear she was carrying that this would be when something went wrong and the sudden relief left her almost giddy. “How long…?”

Harper cocked her head to one side thoughtfully, “Soon, but not imminently I would say. You better get in there and keep her calm though, it is all a bit medical.”

Nodding understandingly, Maria went and tapped on the door. Clint poked his head out, breaking into a wide grin.

“Finally!” He turned and said something to Natasha then stepped outside, pulling her into a quick, rough hug. “Bout time.”

“Thanks Barton,” Maria managed to get out, voice slightly muffled by his grip on her.

“Get in there before she castrates me by proxy.”

Maria let out a small, slightly hysterical laugh and gripped his shoulders a little tighter for just a second. Bless the man, he said nothing, just stood strong for her. With a final squeeze he pushed her towards the door. Taking a deep breath she walked in, and was met with a tide of Russian that made her hesitate.

“Well that was uncalled for...” she quipped, distracted by the equipment and antiseptic smell. She nodded in welcome to the two midwives present before turning to the woman on the bed, feeling herself regain some of her equilibrium at the sight of her sitting up, apparently okay. Natasha rolled her eyes and let out a scoff, but Maria could see the relief beneath her annoyed exterior and the knot in her stomach relaxed somewhat.

“Are you Maria?” One of the midwives asked.

“I am.”

“Finally,” Natasha put in, snippily.

Maria just blinked at her with an exasperated, slightly pole-axed expression.

“You are late. Where's Harper?” She asked, gesturing for Maria to move.

“Just outside talking to Clint and Steve,” Maria frowned in concern as Natasha's expression tightened and she froze.

“Get up top, Commander,” Natasha ground out from between clenched teeth.

“Ah. Yes. Will do.” Maria ignored the questioning expressions on the midwives faces and dragged a stool to perch up by Natasha's side. She flicked her gaze around the room again, trying to calm her racing heart and then turned to look at Natasha properly. She looked a little tired, a little scared, but mostly alright and she met Maria's eyes steadily. She let out a small sigh of relief. “Hi.”

“Hi. I am still mad with you.”

Maria let a tiny smile flicker over her face, “Fair enough. Me too.”

“Being reasonable does not get you off the hook,” Natasha's expression turned inward again and she tensed.

Cautiously Maria offered her hand, surprised when Natasha grabbed at it blindly. One of the midwives gave her an approving look before snapping out a stream of medical jargon that Maria couldn't make any sense of in her current state (maybe going to some of those pre-natal classes would have been a good move).

 

Eventually there was a change in the atmosphere. Maria climbed to her feet, the nervous energy in her limbs making sitting still impossible, and made sure Natasha could keep a good grip on her hand. There was a flurry of activity, the midwives making encouraging noises (at any other time Maria was sure Natasha would have kicked them, but she was a little pre-occupied) and then a piercing wail cut the air.

“Congratulations,” the senior midwife looked up and met Maria's gaze, “you have a little girl.”

Maria sat back down on the stool with a thump and took a shaky breath, looking at Natasha. The redhead was focussed on the group gathered around the small bundle of noise but glanced up at her with a disbelieving smile. Maria grinned back, lightheaded and oddly elated.

“Here, you take her while we clean up a bit.”

The wrapped baby was thrust into her arms and for a second she was frozen with shock, staring down at this scrap of furious humanity that she was now responsible for. She stood and turned away to try and provide some privacy but Natasha shifted.

“Maria,” there was an edge to her voice, tired and emotional and slightly panicked.

“I'm not going anywhere,” Maria promised, twisting back a little so that Natasha could keep an eye on the baby who had now settled into a steady wail, eyes screwed shut and tiny fists flailing. “Hey Sprout, nothings worth that much drama,” she whispered, gently touching the baby's cheek with one finger. Her daughter turned towards the sensation, quietening for a few seconds before bursting back into high pitched yowls. She was surprised by the sudden wave of protectiveness that washed over her and cuddled the little bundle closer to her chest.

“Okay, done.” Maria felt like she had never moved faster as she returned the baby to Natasha. If anything the redhead looked even more stunned than Maria felt, arms moving automatically to cradle her daughter even as the rest of her body lagged behind. The wail settled to a few snuffles as though the baby recognised her mother. Maria stood for a long moment, just watching, then gave herself a little shake and went to let Clint and the others know what had happened.

 

By the time she stepped back in (after being cried on by an over emotional Hawkeye and hugged a little too firmly by Captain America), Natasha was looking far more comfortable and one of the midwives was helping her to settle the baby to feed. Feeling like she had gone a few rounds with the Hulk (not that she was ever going to admit that to Natasha) Maria sank back done onto her stool, running a hand through her hair.

“6 pounds 6 ounces,” a midwife informed her.

Maria just nodded. Those numbers probably meant something to someone. She would ask Laura. Or Harper. “Is she supposed to be this colour?”

“What colour?” The midwife asked, bristling in defence of the now contentedly sucking baby.

“Sort of… brick red?”

The midwife turned to Natasha as if expecting support or offence. Instead, Natasha just cocked her head to one side with a faintly amused if tired smile.

“Fair question,” she agreed, “What about the blotchiness? Is that normal?”

The midwife glanced between the two of them in disbelief, shaking her head with exasperation. “She's perfect. I will give you some peace, ring the bell if you need a hand at all.”

 

There was a few moments of quiet after she left. Maria clung to her seat on the stool, somehow unable to stop examining the baby, taking in the scrunched expression, wide eyes that were fixed on Natasha's face and tiny pink hands. Eventually the awareness that she was staring at Natasha Romanoff breast feeding trickled through her subconscious and made itself known.

“Uh, do you want me to…?” she waved at the door.

“I think you are going to see this sort of stuff for a while,” Natasha said matter-of-factly without looking up from her daughter, gently stroking her face with one finger. “Better get used to it.”

“Yes ma'am,” Maria said softly, settling back down and finally giving in to the warm wave of emotion that she had been holding back.


	8. Chapter 8 - Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio move to the avengers base

“Hang on a second...”

Maria struggled to open the door to Natasha's room, juggling bottles of water and trailmix while trying to keep her phone pinned to her ear. Eventually she succeeded and Natasha's face lit up at the sight of food. Maria tossed her some trailmix, impressed at how she managed to snag it neatly out of the air without disturbing the feeding baby, then set the water more carefully down by her side and turned her attention back to Laura on the phone.

“So, what does she look like?”

“Eh,” Maria paused, “a bit like a potato.”

“What?” Laura said flatly, Maria couldn't tell if she was amused or annoyed.

“She looks like a baby,” Maria said helplessly, “they all look the same.” Natasha gestured from the bed. “Nat thinks she looks like that British prime minister. The one with the cigar. Churchill. Except with more hair.”

Laura sighed, muttering something under her breath. “Do you have any pictures?”

“Of course I have pictures. What do you take me for?”

“You do not want me to answer that,” Laura said, but her voice was warm, “send us a picture sometime, the kids are asking.”

“Will do. Better go and get ready for the move to the base.”

“You're going there before coming home?”

“Yeah. This is the first baby born on earth using asgard tech in several thousand years. And the first baby born on earth with two biological mothers,” she paused, honesty and experience in her job making her add “as far as we know, anyway. So there is a team of people waiting to make sure she and Nat are okay.”

“Fair enough. Give me some warning when you are moving to the Barns and I will get some food sorted for you.”

Maria smiled, “Thank you.”

“Good luck.”

 

Maria hung up and stuffed her phone back in her pocket. “I think Laura has changed her mind about approving of me.”

Natasha smiled, shifting into a more comfortable position. “When are we leaving?”

“Soon. Clint refused to let anyone else pilot, but he should have picked up a quinjet by now. We'll head out to the airfield and get off.”

Natasha nodded, splitting her attention between her food and the baby in the crook of her arm. After a quick tidy up, packing away everything that they wanted to take away with them, Maria sat down in the corner and closed her eyes.

“Tired?” She opened her eyes again and glanced over at Natasha, who thankfully looked amused rather than annoyed.

“It has been,” Maria squinted at her watch, “39 hours since I last got any sleep.”

“Oh, poor baby,” Natasha mocked gently.

Letting out a long sigh Maria laid the back of her hand theatrically to her forehead. “It's a hard life.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Natasha looked at her daughter who had finished feeding. “Take her for me?” she asked, a thread of hesitancy in her voice, “There is no way I am going back to base in this nightshirt.”

“Really?” Maria stood and carefully lifted the baby from Natasha. She was quite proud of the way her hands barely trembled.

“It's all about image, Hill.” Natasha said primly, standing with a wince.

Maria settled cross-legged on the bed, gingerly holding the baby. She had improved in appearance over the past few hours, and was now a far more normal colour. She regarded Maria steadily out of dark blue eyes, and then yawned widely, startling a smile from the tall woman. “Cute,” she murmured, and offered a finger that was grabbed in a tight little fist. She watched as Natasha tried a few cautious stretches and steps, testing how her body reacted to each movement.

“Please stop watching me with that disapproving expression.”

“It's not disapproving,” Maria countered, “it's more… concerned with an edge of I wish she didn't do this to herself.”

“Right. Whatever you say.” Natasha turned her back and rooted around in her bag for some clothes. She managed to pull most of them on with only a couple of grunts of pain, but was left holding the socks with a tired, defeated expression.

Slipping off the bed Maria strapped the baby into her brand new carry cot. “Want a hand?”

Natasha appeared to be having an argument with herself, then sat and passed them over. “Thanks,” she said, a little dully.

“No problem,” Maria deftly put them on for her, “what am I here for?”

Natasha snorted, leant back and closed her eyes. “Don't wake me until Clint arrives.”

 

When Clint did turn up he spent a solid five minutes cooing over the baby (honestly, Maria had had no idea that the best way to shut Hawkeye up was to wave a newborn at him. She filed this information away for future use) before arguing with Natasha over getting her to use a wheelchair to go out to the taxi. Maria just stayed out of it; the adrenaline that had kept her going for so long was now starting to fade with the safety of the Avengers base almost within reach.

Clint had brought one of the new pilots from the base (a young woman code named Osprey who Maria knew from experience could fly pretty much anything) with him to co-pilot, and Maria really appreciated the fact that she could just sprawl in the back with Natasha and Dr Harper rather than dealing with flying as well.

The young woman had saluted with a grin when they arrived, starting on her pre-flight checks without delay. “Ready to leave civilisation, ma'am?” She asked as Clint radioed the control tower.

“Please.” Maria settled back, eyes drooping tiredly as they lifted off.

 

 

After a good nap and a large mug of coffee from the thermos that Clint had packed Maria felt much more human again. Natasha also looked better – though still tired and pale, some of the tension had drained from her shoulders as they landed. Maria hid a smile; it was a sign of an interesting life if you were more comfortable on a secret military base surrounded by spies and super heroes than you were in a general hospital.

 

Her good mood didn't last very long – as soon as they had been settled in an (admittedly very nice) room in the medical bay, the unholy trio of Dr's Harper, Green and Cho descended upon them. She had far more vials of her own blood taken than she thought was strictly necessary, but she had the easiest part in the ordeal.

Natasha had lasted all of two minutes into the baby's examination before she had stalked out of the room, fists clenched, shooting Maria a look that quite clearly said 'stay put'. Maria did so, hovering protectively just out of the way for all the measurements and observations, but felt incredibly guilty when Harper had taken a small sample of blood and the baby cried hysterically.

“That's enough,” she said, scooping her daughter up off the mat and jiggling her inexpertly. Helen Cho opened her mouth of if to object but Maria drew herself up and glared. “Enough.”

Harper nodded, efficiently packing away the equipment. “We have enough to run the tests we need, and will let you know the results as soon as possible.”

Maria nodded, managing to flash to doctor a brief smile before turning back to her baby. It wasn't their fault. She had to keep reminding herself of this.

Then it was Natasha's turn, and while this went quicker Maria was very glad she didn't need to be present for it. The redhead emerged looking drained and grumpy, just as the baby woke again, squalling for a feed.

 

Maria took this as an opportunity to escape the chaos for a bit, heading to her office to finish up a couple of important projects that she wasn't comfortable leaving half completed. Unfortunately, the news had spread fast, and every agent and technician in the building seemed to find her to congratulate her. Giving up on the idea of getting any work done she returned to the med bay, weighed down with gifts for Natasha and the baby and feeling ever so slightly hysterical. Natasha cracked open one eye as she entered the room, baby sleeping peacefully in the crib by her side.

“Did you storm a greetings card shop?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I bring well wishes from most of the base.” Maria dropped her load on the end of the bed, frowning as Nat shushed her. “I know, I know” she whispered irritably. “There's some chocolate in there, and a bit of fruit. Please tell me that will do for dinner. Don't send me back out there.”

Natasha sifted through the pile, separating cards and gifts. “I was actually going to send Steve for pizza.”

Maria brightened. Why hadn't she thought of that?

 

 

Natasha had dozed off again by the time Steve arrived with food, Clint in tow. They huddled in the rather swish, now deserted waiting area to avoid waking her and the baby, and saved her portion. Maria was grateful the guys were quite happy to just sit in silence, she didn't feel like she had much left to give to today.

Eventually Nat wandered out, a bundle of blankets in her arms. “She wakes every three hours. Every. Three. Hours. Tell me this doesn't last long Barton. Please.”

Clint just winced and refused to meet her eyes.

Natasha sighed, passed the baby to Maria and grabbed some pizza, sitting slightly tentatively on one of the chairs.

“Hey sprout,” Maria said, supporting the infants head with a bit more ease now than she had earlier in the day. Maybe she could get the hang of this, or at least stop feeling like she was going to drop the kid all the time. The baby blinked solemnly up at her. She noticed Steve watching her closely. “Want to have her?”

“Uh,” he glanced quickly at Natasha, who just smiled and waved a slice of pizza encouragingly, “sure.”

Maria passed her over, settling her carefully and sat back. She was, Maria would have say (even if she wasn't biased) a very cute baby now that she had lost the scrunched up old man expression, with strawberry blond hair and big, dark blue eyes that followed movement even if she couldn't yet focus properly. Steve held her gently; she looked incredibly small and delicate in his hands. The man even had tears in his eyes, which normally would have made Maria roll her own but frankly, today she could understand. Natasha was watching him with a soft expression on her face, leaning against Clint's shoulder. Slowly the baby drowsed off, little fists relaxing in sleep, and Steve looked up and cleared his throat.

“We better leave you to it, then,” he sounded slightly hoarse.

Nodding, Nat gathered her daughter up and headed back to their room. Clint stood and clapped Steve on the back, looking a bit misty eyed himself. “I'll update Laura,” he said, “I don't think the kids have stopped asking about her yet.”

Maria smiled. “I'll send her some pictures as well. Thanks for the pizza Rogers.”

“Any time.”

 

“You don't have to stay if you want some proper sleep.” Natasha said as she walked back into the room, not quite looking at her as she fussed with the baby's blankets.

Maria honestly couldn't imagine leaving. “I would rather be here. If that's alright?”

Natasha blinked, but looked pleased. “Okay.”

“You are having the bed though,” Maria warned, seeing the redhead hesitate, “You gave birth yesterday and crossed the country this morning. You need sleep.”

There was a pause, as though Natasha was considering arguing, but then she smiled a little ruefully. “Okay.”

After looking at the arm chair in the corner of the room, Maria went and fetched one of the waiting room chairs to act as a foot rest. By the time she got back Natasha had slipped into bed, lying on her side so that she could see into the cot where the baby slept peacefully.

Rapidly Maria changed, then felt drawn back to the cot. Natasha shifted slightly, making space on the bed for her to sit and she sank down gratefully. There was a long, companionable silence as they both stared down at their child, the knuckles of Natasha's hand brushing lightly against the small of her back. Maria couldn't remember the last time she had been this emotionally wrung out, and she wouldn't swap the feeling for anything.

“Busy day,” she said eventually.

“Yeah.”

Maria turned to look at the woman beside her. Although she looked exhausted, her eyes were clear of shadows and tension in a way that Maria had never seen before. “You should get some sleep.”

“When are you going to stop worrying about my sleep levels? I have gone much longer than this without rest before.”

“I think,” Maria said, with a small, teasing grin, “you are going to deal with this stuff for a while. Better get used to it.”

Natasha chuckled quietly and rolled her eyes. “Yes ma'am.”


	9. Chapter 9 - Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get to go home

Frowning, Natasha tried to grab her daughters kicking legs and hold them still. “Well, someone's feeling active this morning,” she grumbled, struggling to wrap the diaper around the baby's waist, “pretty sure this shouldn't be a two person job малютка.”

The baby just blinked up at her and stuffed a little hand in her mouth. It was the first time she had spent more than a couple of hours alone with her daughter, as Maria had gone to put the finishing touches to the Barn, and it had been a terrifyingly emotional experience for Natasha. She had been simultaneously petrified of hurting the baby, overwhelmed by how dependent she was and utterly in love with her. It was only 10am and already she was exhausted. She sighed and picked up a baby suit, “And we really need to give you a name...”

Maria popped her head in, clearly suppressing a grin at the sight of Natasha's problems. “Hi.”

Natasha just grunted distractedly, finally managing to get the suit on and buttoned up.

“They have the results from her tests for us now.”

With a nod Natasha strapped the now clean and dressed baby into her carry cot. “Lets go.”

Without a word Maria took the cot off her, ignoring the half-hearted glare she sent. If the commander made helping her into a 'thing' she would have object, but honestly there was a part of her that could get to like someone looking out for her. Not that she was going to admit that to anybody.

“Zoe.” Maria said, as they arrived at the elevators.

“No, too passive. Amy?”

Maria shook her head. “I have a cousin called Amy.”

“Rebecca?”

“I have an ex called Rebecca.”

“This is a lot harder than I thought it would be,” Natasha grumbled.

 

Harper and Green were waiting for them at the medical centre. After the obligatory cooing over the baby (Natasha had considered asking Steve to watch her, but hadn't been able to face the idea of being separated from her yet), Harper passed over a thick report Helen Cho had written for them.

“This covers everything. In detail. In summary, you have a very healthy, perfectly average baby.”

Never had Natasha been so pleased to hear the word 'average' applied to someone she loved, and she felt Maria relax next to her.

“It turns out she has a few genes that suggest some susceptibility to allergy.”

“Probably my fault,” Maria said, “I have mild hayfever and a brother with peanut allergy.”

“And a tendency towards long-sightedness.”

“That would be me,” Natasha said. “What?” she added defensively as the other three turned to look at her in surprise, “I am human you know.”

“This is actually quite exciting,” Green said with a gleam in her eye that suggested a theory had been proven. Natasha glanced at Maria, who raised one eyebrow and shrugged. “It means that the device wasn't picking and choosing the your genes to the extent that we thought it might. Your daughter isn't a 'designer baby' in the way we understand it currently, her genes weren't selected to make her 'perfect'.”

“It would be interesting to know if the device would have screened out any serious genetic problems,” Harper added, “but as neither of you have any that will have to stay as a theoretical question for now.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief Natasha noticed Maria twitch. “Does that mean research into the practical use of this device is going to continue?” she asked.

“Yes.” Dr Harper said, emphatically, “the possibilities it presents us with are enormous… Dr Green here is going to be working closely with the researchers, and we have put in a request to speak with the Asgardians if at all possible.”

Maria nodded thoughtfully. Natasha could practically see her brain whirring away. “So there is going to be continued interest in Agent Romanoff and our child?”

“Yes.” This time Harper was more gentle, “But in all honesty Commander, there would have been no matter what. I will promise to do my best to limit the intrusiveness of the situation.”

Maria held the doctors eyes for a long minute, and Natasha was quite impressed by the way Harper held up under the scrutiny. Eventually Maria nodded. “And you will continue to lead?”

“Yes. With input from Dr Cho and of course Dr Green will be involved.”

“Okay. Can we take her home now?”

The doctors both grinned and nodded, and Natasha was both surprised and touched at the unadulterated enthusiasm they showed. It was going to take some getting used to, her doctors being human.

Maria turned to her with a smile, “Lets go then.”

 

 

The main work on the Barns had been completed a couple of weeks before. Natasha would never forget the first time she walked in there; Maria had taken over the project of providing a house for her with the same level of perfectionism and enthusiasm she usually applied to her work, and the result had left Natasha breathless. The main barn was fairly large, built in a U-shape, with a smaller building just across a courtyard, creating both a handy garage and a sheltered area for a garden. The kitchen took up one leg of the U and was clearly designed by someone who knew what they were doing. It led into a large open plan sitting room with a play room in the second leg. Upstairs the second floor was dedicated to bedrooms, one en-suit that Maria insisted was for Natasha. There was a third floor up in the rafters with a sloping ceiling. Maria explained that she had left most of this blank for now, but there was a small, well endowed gym and a study tucked away up there. There were freshly plastered walls, old beams, a very nice wood burning stove in the sitting room and some tasteful bits of furniture. She even recognised a few things from her flat and Maria's house, which made the place feel comfortable.

Natasha had walked around with shining eyes, almost unable to take in what Maria and Clint (and a team of SHIELD contractors) had achieved, Maria following her with a proud, if somewhat nervous smile. She had pointed out a small weapons room that needed a thumb print and retinal scan to open, and had explained about the 'lockers' she had set up in tactical areas, well hidden safes that again only opened to a finger print that they could leave guns in without worrying about small people getting their hands on them. Natasha was probably more touched by that than anything else – this was so clearly a house designed for her that she couldn't quite wrap her mind around it. Her emotional walls, more fragile than usual in the final weeks of her pregnancy, had crumbled and she had actually sobbed into Maria's shoulder for a good few minutes before managing to pull herself together.

 

 

Drawing up to her home for the second time was almost as memorable as the first. The evening sun was spilling through the trees, and Murphy leapt out of the car with an excited bark. Walking in to her house, with her baby, gave Natasha a strange feeling of disconnection. It was almost as if this was a half remembered dream, and it left her light headed. But then there was Maria, steady and calm, who anchored her to the present with a hand on the small of her back and a smile.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” Natasha smiled back, giving herself a quick shake, “It's just...” she waved a hand.

Maria nodded understandingly, “I know.”

 

Maria and Clint had moving in the remainder of the things they needed the day before, Clint even going to retrieve Liho from her flat. According to him she had taken to being a farm cat very well, and indeed there she was, sitting on the doormat as though she had been expecting them. Laura had stocked their fridge with food, and left a note on the table asking if she could bring the kids down for a quick visit.

Maria went to stretch her legs on a quick walk with Murphy and Natasha (after wandering around for a few minutes reassuring herself that this was real) rang Laura and invited her down.

She heard when they arrived because they coincided with Maria, Cooper letting out an excited whoop at the sight of Murphy. They trooped in, cheerful and rosy-cheeked from the evening exercise, Maria heading to the kitchen after waving one of Laura's homemade casseroles in the air for her to see. Lila bounded over and wrapped her arms firmly around Natasha's waist, making her repress a wince.

“Careful honey,” Laura reprimanded, coming over to give Natasha a gentle hug of her own, “Hi there.”

“Hello.”

“As lovely as it is to see you and the dog,” (Cooper looked up from the floor where he had been petting Murphy with a sheepish “Hi Aunty Nat,”), we really came to see the little one. No offence meant of course.”

Natasha rolled her eyes at her friends teasing expression and led them over to the basket in the corner where the baby was. Luckily she was in one of those brief periods of wakefulness just after being fed, winded and changed where she was calm and content. There was a chorus of aww's.

“She is honestly the fourth most beautiful baby I have ever seen,” Laura said, making Natasha beam proudly, “Don't tell my brothers I said that. And she looks nothing like a potato.” This she directed towards the kitchen and prompted a muffled laugh from Maria.

“You didn't see her when she was freshly baked,” Maria called back, getting a laugh from Laura and a quiet 'ew' from Natasha.

“Can I hold her?” Lila asked, looking beseechingly up at her mother.

“Not today love. She's only just got home so it's been a long day for her. Maybe we can come and see her again in a couple of days and ask Aunty Nat then.”

Lila stuck out her bottom lip mutinously.

“Besides, you have a baby brother to cuddle at home.”

“Yeah, but he's a boy,” Lila said witheringly, with all the logic of a five year old.

Both Laura and Nat laughed, Laura steering her daughter towards the door, “Come on, time to say goodbye. Thank you for letting us come down so soon, hopefully someone will stop nagging now.” Laura mock glared at her daughters retreating back making Natasha chuckle.

Maria came to see them off, calling Murphy back when she tried to follow Cooper up the track. “Dinners ready. And Laura also sent pie for afters.”

“That,” Natasha said fervently, “sounds amazing.”

 

After dinner, a shower, and the entertaining spectacle of watching Maria battle to change a diaper Natasha settled herself on the sofa opposite the log burner, Maria curled up with the dozy baby in an armchair next to her.

“Stephanie.” Maria suggested.

“Steve would blush for a solid week and be quietly insufferable. Carmen.”

“Too opera-y. Marta.”

Natasha stilled, her eyes distant. “I knew a Marta once… no.”

“Okay. Beatrice.”

Natasha winced.“No. Antoinette.”

Maria snorted, “She would end up a Toni. Do we want that? Really?”

“Fair point. Katrina.”

Maria tilted her head to one side, considering the sleeping baby. “Not bad, but I don't think she looks like a Kat. Dorothy.”

“I am getting the feeling you aren't taking this seriously,” Natasha said, reaching over and poking her in the ribs.

“Me?” Maria blinked innocently, “Would I?”

Natasha flopped back on the sofa and closed her eyes. “Yes. You would.”

Maria's quiet chuckle blended with the crackles and pops from the fire.

 

 

Maria heard the soft wail of the baby through the walls, followed by a thump and the sound of Natasha's door opening. Curious, she got up to see the Black Widow crouched, tense and alert, in the corridor. Careful not to make any sudden movements she stepped out of her room.

“Tasha?” She could almost see the shiver run down the Widow's spine. “What's wrong?”

“There's someone here,” she said, voice low and hoarse.

Maria slowly moved closer. “Are you sure? I didn't hear anything, and Murphy hasn't started barking.”

Tension was coming off the redhead in waves, and she turned to Maria with an expression of agonised indecision. The baby's cries got louder and Natasha flinched, as if torn in two directions.

“Okay,” Maria said softly, “how about you get her, and I will check that there is no one here?”

Natasha wavered, and when Maria placed a hand gently in the small of her back she could feel the strain in her muscles. At her touch something seemed to change, and Natasha nodded, still wary but accepting. Maria watched, worried, as she headed back to her room and baby, then quickly padded downstairs to doublecheck everything was alright.

There was no sigh of a break-in, the only movement from Liho as she lifted her head and Murphy's tail as she greeted her. For Natasha's peace of mind she also checked up in the loft, which was similarly deserted, so she made her way back to the main bedroom.

Natasha was standing, still alert, as if unable to take the final steps to the crib where the baby was now screaming. Suppressing surge of anxiety Maria walked in, brushing her hand over Nat's hip with a quiet “all clear” as she did so and scooped up her red faced daughter.

“Okay sweetie, it's okay,” she murmured, cradling her to her chest and the baby quietened a little at the attention. After confirming that it wasn't a diaper change that was required, Maria turned to look at Nat. “Right. I can't do this, so you have to. Get on the bed.”

Natasha blinked at her then gave herself a shake as if waking from a dream, and did as directed. Gently Maria laid the baby on her and was relieved when Natasha curled her arms around her protectively, hands fluttering over her like nervous moths. Bit by bit the tension leached away and after a few minutes they both had settled down, the infant now just fussing a bit.

Maria scrubbed a hand over face, suddenly exhausted. “Okay...” she turned to leave.

“Stay,” Natasha said, her voice low with an uncharacteristic questioning note in it, “please?”

Maria blinked at her in surprise, “Sure.”

She climbed on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. Natasha shuffled a little closer, their arms brushing against each other. Suppressing a yawn Maria trailed a gentle finger over the now feeding baby's head.

“Sorry,” Natasha muttered.

“It's alright,” Maria said softly, “We'll all adjust in time I think.”

“Yeah.” Natasha leaned a bit further in to her, her weight heavy and exhausted. Maria almost felt guilty at the warm, oddly content feeling that settled in her belly.

 

 

She woke up, clinging to the edge of Natasha's bed on top of the covers. The redhead was sprawled out underneath them taking up a good two thirds of the space, snoring lightly, and there was no noise from the baby's crib in the corner. Carefully sliding off the bed Maria peeked out of the window, noting that there was a good view of the rising sun from this side of the house. The thought made her smile. This was a home now, a real home.

She padded over and peered into the cot, surprised to see that her daughter was awake, peacefully sucking her thumb. “So you can be quiet when you are awake,” she murmured, reaching down to stroke a little hand. In response the baby spat out her thumb and waved her arms above her head, making Maria grin involuntarily. “You have got to stop being so cute, kid. I have a reputation to keep.”

“M'ria?” there was a grumble from the bed.

Maria looked over and her smile widened at the sight of a tousle haired, drowsy Natasha Romanoff peering out of a tangle of bedsheets. “Morning.”

“Is it?” Natasha humped around in the bed for a moment before settling back down with a yawn, “She okay?” Her voice was huskier than usual from sleep.

“Yeah, she's good.”

“Good...”

Maria hung over the side of the cot, watching with a soft expression as the baby tried to focus on her. “Alexis.” She said suddenly.

“Hmm?” Natasha's eyes, which had been drifting shut again opened.

“Alexis. Maybe?”

The look Natasha gave Maria was vulnerable, young in a way made Maria's chest constrict, made her want to offer comfort in some way. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Maria glanced down at the baby again. “I mean, my mother's mother was Alessandra, and you had...”

“Alexai.” Natasha whispered, gaze unfocussed. Maria had never known her directly mention the husband the KGB had forced upon her and then ripped away once she learned to trust him; hearing his name from her was almost a shock.

“Yeah.” She sent Nat a crooked half smile and a shrug, “So, why not?”

The other woman blinked, only one fist that gripped the sheets giving any sign of her feelings. Maria was starting to feel a little worried, that maybe she had pulled on threads that should be left well alone when Natasha smiled slowly.

“Alexis. Lexi. Lex. I would like that.”

Maria grinned, and at the beginnings of a whimper from the crib scooped the baby out and carried her over to Nat.

“You're getting better at that,” Natasha said, nodding at how more confidently Maria handled the infant.

“Yeah well, some of us didn't have Barton's sprogs to practice on,” Maria replied easily, passing the child over.

“Alexis Maria Romanoff-Hill.”Natasha said, looking at teh baby as if making sure it suited her.

Maria blinked, “What?”

“Well, Alexis Mariaovna is just daft.” Natasha said most of her attention focussed on her daughter.

“What?” Maria felt like there was something she was missing.

“She is half Russian, she is going to have the closest to a Russian middle name that I can manage,” Natasha said peaceably, in a tone that told Maria arguing would be futile. “Seeing as a patronymic is not going to work, Maria will do.”

Maria gaped at her for a moment, noting the tiny smile that played around the corner of Natasha's mouth and realised that the other woman was enjoying throwing her off balance. She had probably planned it. “And I won't be able to change your mind?”

“Nope.”

"Sure? I mean, I'm honoured, but it's not necessary..."

"Maria. Shut up."

“Okay.” With that, Maria dropped a quick, barely perceptible kiss to the top of Natasha's hair then fled the room, telling herself she was going to make breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *correction made to spelling of baby's name, thanks to didgeridork


	10. Chapter 10 - Fury

Over the next couple of weeks they settled into a routine. In fact, much to Maria's relief, Lexi seemed to be a very routine compliant baby, which helped Natasha. They found that if she was expecting the baby to wake at 2am then she didn't panic anywhere near as much. It was the unexpected that she struggled with.

They discovered that baths were a good thing and were met with gurgles and coos, diaper changers were not, and were weathered with whimpering, leg kicking and sometimes full on screaming. Feeding times continued to go well, but it was Maria more often than not who managed to get her to sleep. They visited Laura with no problems, but a trip into the small local town (under their light cover identities of Mia Hill and Natalie Romans) had ended in a complete meltdown on the parts of both Lexi and Maria. Natasha had taken them home and installed Maria on the sofa for a good three hour nap after that incident.

Every evening between 17:45 and 18:00 she would wail inconsolably, and the only thing they had found that would calm her down was Maria pacing around with Bach on in the background (“Bach?” Clint had spluttered, “my kids went with nursery rhymes”. Natasha had been faintly smug about that).

 

 

After three weeks or so of spending all of her time at the Barns, Maria started receiving emails from work: Steve's politely pleading, various section heads outright begging for her to go back and finally one from Fury which had left her in a very thoughtful mood.

Over dinner that night Natasha regarded her carefully. Maria was starting to get that paranoid feeling back.

“What?” she eventually asked, defensively.

“You tell me,” Natasha stabbed a carrot with her fork and raised an eyebrow.

“I don't know what's going through your head.”

“It's your head I'm interested in.”

There was a long pause as they finished eating, then Maria stood to clear up. “I think they need me back at work.”

Natasha nodded, “Okay. Are you ready to go back?”

“Hang on… you're alright with this?” Maria asked, surprised. She had been expecting at least some resistance from the other woman.

“Well,” Natasha said, practically, “I'm honestly shocked you have been able to have this much time away. Although you must be owed about a year in backed up annual leave.” She hesitated for a moment, looking as if she was trying to decide what to say next. “I would prefer you to stay. But there is an entire world out there and I would like it to stay in one piece. You're quite useful for that.”

Maria watched her carefully for a moment, trying to work out if she had been given the full truth. Natasha held her gaze calmly. Finally deciding that she had got as much as she was going to she relaxed. “I don't want to go back there all the time. I was thinking maybe three or four days a week?”

Natasha's shoulders settled down as if she was relieved, and she smiled slightly. “If you think you can keep the Avengers in check with that then it sounds good to me,” she said softly.

“Okay then.” Maria nodded decisively, then turned to get on with the washing up.

 

 

And so they developed a new routine, with Maria heading off late on Sundays, and returning even later on Wednesdays or Thursdays. Natasha did her best not to resent her for it – after all, neither of them had planned this change to their lives, so why should it take up all Maria's time? Maria was genuinely delighted to see her daughter as soon as she got home, often creeping upstairs to sit by her crib for a while, and when she was around she made sure that she took the baby away so that Natasha could have some peace for a few hours.

Even so, she noticed Natasha getting restless, slightly snippy. In fact, she was starting to remind Maria of a wild cat kept in a zoo, all coiled energy and tension.

 

“Steve's struggling with Wanda,” she said, casually one evening as they sat, exhausted, in front of the log burner.

Natasha paused in stroking Liho, “I'm not surprised. He does caring and leading very well, but not so much subtlety.”

“Yeah,” Maria wriggled deeper into the cushions on the sofa, “and the kid has traumas that he can't really relate to. It's like, she has this barrier to trusting and believing that she is worth something.”

Natasha shot her a faintly suspicious look, “Where are you going with this, Hill?”

Maria grinned, completely unrepentant at being caught out. "Come to the base. Work with Wanda, help Steve with the rest of the Avengers as you planned.”

Natasha stilled. “I can't.”

“You can if you want to. It doesn't have to be every day. There are quarters on base, you can leave Lexi with me. Come on Tuesdays, we can be back here on Wednesdays. It means that she can have her medical check ups at the same time. And the place is so secretive that there is no danger of attack, at least at the moment. Think about it.”

Natasha stared into the fire, chewing her lip. Maria could see her being torn in two directions. Eventually she nodded, sending a quick, shy glance in Maria's direction. “Okay.”

Maria nodded, making no more of it for the moment.

 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence Natasha started to tell her about the Mothers and Toddlers group Laura had dragged her to. “Honestly, I think she just wanted someone sane to be there – some of these women were nutty! And I say this well away that I am a brain washed child trained assassin.”

Maria chuckled, “So are you going to be joining the town's social circle then?”

Natasha snorted, “Fat chance. One of them, Jan, has got a total alpha female thing going on. She invited me to the harvest festival with the fakest of fake smiles you could possibly imagine.”

“You accepted, didn't you?”

“Of course I did,” Natasha said, looking offended, “however, I think they are also trying to set me up with someone.”

Maria blinked at her. “You have a new baby and they think you need setting up?”

Natasha shrugged. “Laura gave them the story about your jerk of a brother who got me knocked up. They think I need someone stable.”

Maria couldn't help the grin that spread across her face at this image. “Really?”

“Stop enjoying this. You have to come to this festival now so they can't corner me. Laura was no help,” Natasha grumbled.

 

 

Natasha turning up at the base with Lexi caused far more of a stir than Maria returning had. Which was fair enough, Maria mused, rocking the baby's carry cot with one foot as she typed out a strongly worded email to the director of the CIA, Lexi babbling happily to herself. Natasha was thoroughly enjoying the chance to terrify agents and beat up Steve, and had been working surprisingly well with Wanda. The only problem was, she now had a meeting with the section heads, none of whom would much appreciate Lexi gatecrashing.

 

Heading between one meeting and the next, Maria stopped as she passed, looking through the doorway to Steve's office at Lexi's cot. Lexi's empty cot, in Steve's empty office. Turning on her heel she stalked back the way she had come, muttering curses as she did so. In all honesty, expecting Steve to stay in his office was perhaps not her best idea ever but it had been a choice between him or Harper, and the doctor had been about to start doing messy things to an agents leg.

“Rogers!” She barked as she flung the door of gym open.

Steve looked up from the corner where he was working with Wanda on levitating a series of weights. He looked confused for a minute then his eyes widened in panic.

“Where's my baby?” She snarled.

“Errr… with Fury...” Steve cringed a bit.

“Fury? You gave my six week old daughter to Nicholas Fury? Are you kidding me?”

“He quite likes children,” Wanda piped up.

Maria turned a hot glare on her, and the young woman swallowed convulsively, straightening her shoulders self-consciously. On one level Maria was impressed at her growing confidence. All other levels were focussed on her missing child and she spun around, leaving the way she had came in. “You better hope I get her before Natasha finds out about this,” she threw over her shoulder and heard Steve groan.

 

Fury should theoretically be a lot harder to find than Steve. Unpredictable was practically his middle name. However, she had spent years learning how to predict his unpredictability. She headed straight for the roof.

The black clad figure was standing far too close to the edge of the roof for her liking, watching a unit train on the grounds. She didn't bother to try and be quiet as she approached and he turned to her just a little as she reached him, revealing the bundle of green blankets in his arms. She felt a rush of relief that surprised her – she had known that Fury wouldn't let harm come to any child, but apparently not knowing where her baby was short-circuited the sensible part of her brain.

“Hill.”

“Sir,” she kept her voice incredible controlled. She was quite proud of herself for that.

Coming to stand next to him she reached over and checked that Lexi was alright, stroking a finger over her cheek. The baby's face broke into a smile that made her melt. Nick didn't offer her up, and Maria didn't insist on taking her. She seemed perfectly comfortable in his arms anyway.

“Rogers doing alright with Maximoff?”

“Seems to be,” she replied, “she's certainly coming on.”

“Good.”

There was pause, then Maria turned to leave. “Drop her at my office before she needs feeding.”


	11. Chapter 11 - Date

Hands on her hips, Maria surveyed the chaos in her kitchen. Volunteering to babysit the Barton kids while Clint took Laura away for a night to celebrate their anniversary had seemed like such a good idea. Actually, it had been Natasha's idea, and Maria would like to lay full blame for the mess on the redhead, but in all fairness she couldn't. Most of it lay with the grinning 9 year old and his little sister – who was currently covered in flour and cocoa powder.

She sighed. “Lets make cookies, she said...” She grabbed Lila and carried her giggling to the sink. “It will be easy, she said...” Using a cloth she managed to get the worst of the mess off the wriggling girl who was now laughing hysterically. “It will keep them quiet, she said...” She looked at Cooper. “You know, I am never going to believe your Aunty Nat again.”

His mischievous smirk was pure Barton. Maria felt like she ought to have seen this coming.

 

Later that evening, after watching Finding Nemo and eating obscene amounts of cookies, all the children were finally asleep.

“Never again,” Maria groaned quietly from her position splayed out on the floor.

“You've already said that,” Natasha smiled fondly at her from the sofa.

“It bears repeating. In fact, we should make a sign for the fridge to remind ourselves.”

“Nate was very well behaved. And Lex was, for once, an angel.”

“Lucky you,” Maria glared half-heatedly up at her. “Next time I get the babies.”

“Next time?”

“No. Good point, no next time.” Maria threw her arm over her eyes, exhausted.

Natasha chuckled and prodded her lightly with one foot. “Didn't think Commander Hill was such a drama queen,” she teased.

“Give me intergalactic war anytime.”

 

 

* * *

 

Natasha was behaving oddly. It said a lot that Maria now felt confident in what was odd behaviour for the Russian, and this was definitely odd; more reserved and almost guilty. There had been no terrible puns or movie references for at least a week. After pondering the issue for a while she decided that confronting her upfront was the best approach. At least that way she could see any attack coming…

“What's up?” She asked bluntly after cornering Natasha in the kitchen with some laundry.

“Hm?”

“What's up?”

Natasha glanced up at her quickly then looked away. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”Natasha frowned and opened her mouth to protest, but Maria carried on. “Lexi is not in hearing range. Besides, she's only five months old, she won't remember anything I say now.”

“You don't know that,” Natasha muttered, shifting from foot to foot.

Maria felt her lips draw up in an involuntary smile, but still didn't move. “Nat? What's wrong?”

Natasha paused for a long moment, staring into the distance. “I wish you would come with me to some of those mothers and toddlers groups,” she said eventually.

Maria blinked. “Okay. Why?”

Natasha shrugged one shoulder and turned back to the washing with a finality that told Maria she wasn't going to get any more information out of her.

 

 

“Mia!” A slim blond woman, all points and sharp jewellery, hustled up to them with a plastic smile as soon as they walked in to the small community hall, grabbing Maria by the forearms and fake kissing the air by her cheeks. Maria just managed to clamp down on her reflex response and did not put the woman in a headlock. It was a close run thing though. She recognised the blond as Jan – Natasha had introduced them with a formal smile and gritted teeth during the Harvest Festival. Natasha got the same greeting, albeit slightly less shrilly. Lexi just blinked wide blue eyes up at her when a bony finger was wiggled in the direction of her stroller.

“It's good to see you,” another woman, one Maria didn't recognise, said with a more genuine seeming smile, “Nat has told us so much about you.”

“She has?” Maria asked, turning to Natasha with a bemused expression.

Natasha just smiled tightly and lifted Lexi out. “Here, you have her for a minute, I need to see Laura.”

Maria automatically took the baby, who cooed and pressed her face against Maria's.

“How sweet!” Jan squealed. Maria was getting tired of her voice already. “You are so good with her.”

Maria bit back a sarcastic comment and cast a helpless look over at the table where Natasha, Laura and a couple of other women were sitting. Natasha had her back to them but Laura gave her a sympathetic smile and a small wave.

“Oh, you know Laura? Of course you do, Nat told us you work with Clint.” Jan was watching her sharply.

“I do. To both points.” Maria replied warily.

“We think it's so good of you to help support Nat with the baby,” the other woman gushed, “Oh, I'm Sarah by the way, and Tyler over there is mine.” She pointed proudly at a sturdy toddler who was systematically breaking down towers of blocks.

“I'm not sure I would put it that way…” Maria struggled. Damn Natasha for abandoning her here. She glared at the redheads back and bounced her daughter in her arms, making her burble happily.

“Come and sit down,” Sarah waved her over to the table.

Maria sat gratefully next to Laura.“Hi.”

“Hey,” Laura grinned, “and hello little miss.” She poked Lexi gently in the belly and got a giggle in response as the baby tried to grab her finger.

“Where's Barton Junior?”

There was a loud crash and Laura pointed towards it without even looking. “Somewhere over there. At least here if he makes a mess I don’t have to clean it up.”

Maria snorted and settled Lexi comfortably on her lap. Noticing Natasha watching them she raised an eyebrow, wondering if the redhead wanted to take her, but she just gave a tiny shake of her head with a smile.

“Does Lexi want to go on the play mats?” Jan asked brightly.

Maria got the impression that children weren't tolerated at the table much. She looked down at her daughter and got a sleepy smile in response. “No, I don’t think so.” Lexi wound one of her hands into Maria's shirt and stuck her thumb in her mouth, sucking contentedly.

Jan stared for a long moment, Maria holding her gaze firmly, then shrugged. “Okay. Mia, this is Lois and Kelly, and you have already met Sarah. Everyone, this is Mia, the elusive sister of the jerk who left Nat. And I have to say I can see the family resemblance.” She wiggled her finger at Lexi again.

Maria was grateful that the cover story was believable enough to explain that away. It took a lot of effort for her not to glance in Natasha's direction. Instead she nodded in greeting at the other women and settled back, tuning in with half an ear to the gossiping just in case they asked her a question.

 

It was banal, and boring, and even the coffee was bad. The children seemed happy enough though, playing in the background, and Lexi drowsed peacefully in her arms. Natasha still seemed off, almost tense, but what she was expecting to happen here Maria didn't know.

It became clearer when Jan clapped her hands and turned to the redhead with a sly smile. “So, now that she have put the world to rights, lets sort you out.”

Maria saw Natasha stiffen almost imperceptibly, and felt Laura shift uncomfortably next to her.

“What needs sorting? I mean, her cooking is fairly basic, but other than that?” Maria tried to keep her tone light rather than pulling out AD Hill on the woman.

“Oh Mia, not you too! She needs a man in her life, to look after her and Alexis.”

Maria glanced down at the baby. “Seriously?”

At least half of the woman in the room nodded solemnly. Maria turned to Laura incredulously. Laura just gave her a half hearted smile and shrugged apologetically. Natasha was watching everyone; Maria could tell that she was unconsciously checking for threats, and waited until the redheads gaze fell on her. They shared a long, complicated look, and slowly Natasha shoulders relaxed somewhat, a wry smile dancing at the corner of her mouth.

Still holding her eyes Maria continued, “Well, personally, I think it is up to Nat. If she wants to go out, then that is what she will do.” She let out a huff of mock frustration, “Lets be honest, nothing we say is going to change her mind.” She rolled her eyes in exaggerated frustration, prompting Natasha to fake pout back at her.

Laura laughed at that, breaking the tense mood, then changed the topic completely by talking about Nate's new found obsession with the old farm tractor.

 

 

“You wanted me to see that, didn't you?” Maria asked in the car on the way home.

“Yes,” Natasha admitted after a slight hesitation, “Although it was also nice to have you there to take some of the attention off me. Being the new girl in a small town is hard work.”

“I noticed,” Maria said dryly, getting a small grin from Natasha in return. “But seriously, if you want to go out, for any reason, that's fine by me. And if you don't, then while I can't murder that woman, I can at least make her stop going on about it.”

"Always trying to fix things..." Natasha propped her elbow on the car window and leaned her head on it, giving Maria a long, thoughtful look. “I might,” she said eventually.

Maria nodded with a smile, turning her attention back to the road, hating that tiny part of herself deep inside that twisted up at Natasha's admission.

 

 

* * *

 

Natasha sighed, staring at her phone. Jan from mothers and toddlers had found her date. Actually, this was the fourth one she had found in the last month, and Natasha was running out of excuses. Perhaps it would just be easier to go out, it might get the woman off her back. Natasha shook her head, unsure at what point she had become someone who would let a woman like Jan get to her like this. This new life was still a bit uncomfortable, rough around the edges, and while she wouldn't swap it for the world she did frequently feel out of her depth, like she didn't belong. Maybe that was part of her problem here. The muffled thud of Maria coming back through the front door after taking Murphy for a walk shook her out of her thoughts. Biting her lip, Natasha replied to the text.

_'okay. Friday at 7'_

 

 

Maria settled back against the headboard in Natasha's room, Lexi sat in the circle of her legs. The baby was bathed and ready for bed, but still bright and awake.

“This is weird.” Natasha said, giving her a sidelong glance as she pulled a few dresses out of her closet.

Maria grinned, carefully removing a necklace from the baby's grasp and tickling her stomach. “I have very good taste in fashion, I'll have you know. Plus, I need your daughter to see enough of you that she will forgive me for not being able to do accents properly at story time.”

Natasha snorted, but found herself unable to protest further as she looked at two pairs of identical, laughing blue eyes. “Weird,” she muttered again, grabbing a dress. “Okay, outfit number one, coming up.”

 

Half an hour later she had worked though five outfit options and Lexi had tried to eat almost all of her jewellery.

“Option one,” Maria said decisively.

“Sure?”

“Or three. Try them again.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, catching Maria's cheeky grin. “One it is then.”

“I think your Momma's losing patience with me. Yep. Yes she most definitely is,” Maria dodged the pair of tights that Natasha tossed in her direction and Lexi cooed back. “Better let her finish getting ready. Come on Sprout.”

As she watched Maria bundle the baby up and head for the door Natasha felt a sudden, frantic desire to stay in, to just put her daughter to bed with a few stories and curl up on the sofa with Maria pottering around downstairs like usual. She clenched her teeth, holding back the wave of confused panic that threatened to overwhelm her.

Maria left, then popped her head back in with a soft smile and a warm expression in her eyes. “Definitely option one.”

 

“Are you sure about this?” Natasha asked, smoothing down Lexi's soft hair one more time. The baby jammed her hand in her mouth, regarding her mother with a steady gaze so like Maria's that she had to smile.

“Go have fun. We will be fine.”

Natasha gave her a slightly sceptical look, but stayed quiet, passing Lexi over. “Okay. Call if you need me.” She grabbed her bag and double checked everything. Again.

“We will be fine,” Maria followed her to the door.

As she drove away they were still standing there, waving her off. “Famous last words” she muttered to herself, bumping down the farm track.

 

 

She came back hours later, but not as late as she had expected, to find there was still a light burning downstairs. Frowning, Natasha carefully opened the door, senses alert. Maria was there, lying flat out on the sofa, one arm supporting Lexi as she slept on her chest with a fist stuffed in her mouth. There was a puddle of drool on Maria's shirt and a half full cup of tea on the floor. Liho was curled up peacefully by the remains of the log fire.

Not quite sure whether she should be worried or not Natasha shed her coat and slid off her shoes. Employing the full silent grace of the Black Widow she made her way over towards the sofa. With the impressive senses and awareness of the commander of SHEILD Maria raised one hand in greeting. Natasha knelt by her side with a small sigh and pouted, which got a bright, if admittedly tired, smile out of the other woman.

“So what happened?” She asked, reaching out to gently touch Lexi's hair.

“Well, we've been up to visit Laura. Because there was screaming and fever and drool and yet more screaming. Apparently trouble here decided that the night you go out is the night that she is going to start teething.” She smoothed a hand down Lexi's back. “And that only you would do.”

“You should have called.” Natasha said softly, feeling a strange guilty pleasure that she had been missed.

“No, you were out having fun. And she's not going to get used to having everything she demands. Loudly and repeatedly.” Natasha raised her eyebrows and Maria huffed, gently brushing a hand over Lexi's back. “Sorry… It's been a long evening.”

“Sorry. Do you want me to take her up?”

Maria squinted at her “No, you will get covered in drool. And that is the best dress.” She winked.

Lying down, covered in baby slobber and with shadows of exhaustion under her eyes, and Natasha still felt an involuntary smile cross her face when she winked. She internally rolled her eyes at herself and stood. “Smooth Hill. Smooth.”

“You know it.” Carefully Maria worked herself upright, trying not to disturb the baby too much.

As she headed for the stairs Natasha went back to the kitchen. She switched on the radio, getting herself a glass of water and turned to lean against the counter as she heard the faint swish of Maria's socks as she walked back in.

“So, was your evening good?”

Natasha smiled, putting her glass down. “You are still wearing the drool shirt.”

Maria glanced down,“Yeah, no point changing.” She gave Natasha a considering, measured stare. “Did you have a good time?”

Natasha shrugged. “It was alright. Music was good.”

“Was that all that was good?”

Natasha nodded and put her glass down, cocking her head as a new tune came on the radio. “Dance with me.”

Maria pointed at her chest, “Drool shirt.”

“Don't care.”

Maria looked at her with an expression Natasha couldn't decipher, but didn't resist when she reached up to wrap her arms around her neck. A few beats and they waltzed slowly around the kitchen, Maria's hands settling on her hips. Natasha felt the tension of the evening draining away from her.

“You never ask me to watch Lex while you get to go out. But you always make sure I have time.”

Maria shrugged, “I spend more time out at the base than you do.”

“Where you are working. I know you,” Natasha scratched her nails lightly over the nape of the taller woman's neck.

Maria's eyes closed for a long moment, “It would feel wrong.”

“Why?” she asked softly.

She saw the bob of Maria's neck as the other woman swallowed, and found herself holding her breath. She became acutely aware of Maria's closeness, the firm warmth of her body and the lilt of the music in the background.

Suddenly there was a whimpering cry from upstairs. They both froze, Natasha praying that Lexi would go back to sleep. She didn't, settling in to a proper wail. Laugh or join in and cry with her, that was the choice.

Natasha sighed, slipping her hands from Maria's neck to rest on her shoulders and leant her forehead fleetingly against her front. “It's my turn isn't it?” she mumbled.

“Yeah,” Maria replied, “Kinda is. Sorry. Plus she'll probably start screaming for you in a moment.” For the briefest of moments her hands tightened slightly around Natasha's waist then she moved away, and Natasha felt her absence with a piercing keeness. “Change the dress first though. Drool.”


	12. Chapter 12 - Skype

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're on the the home straight now! And rapidly approaching my self imposed deadline...  
> Hope everyone is still enjoying this

Natasha plastered a smile on her face as the group of women gathered at the table, their children all dispersing to find favourite toys. She had got to stop letting Laura talk her into coming to these things. She said it was good for Lexi to socialise but really, Natasha had a suspicion it was just that she didn't want to come by herself.

Jan giggled, the sound irritatingly false. “Well, seeing as we have failed so far to get Nat sorted with a guy, how about Mia?”

It was only the training that had been beaten into her that stopped Natasha from freezing at the jolt that shot through her.

“I have a friend who I think would be perfect for her,” Sarah agreed, “What do you think Laura?”

Laura raised an eyebrow, flicking a glance at Nat. “I think Mia is going to have fairly strong feelings about this.”

“Nat? You know her best. Obviously.”

Surprised at the cold leaden feeling in her gut and the lump in her throat Natasha forced out a smile. “Mia's gay.”

“Oh we worked that one out!” Sarah twinkled, “So's my friend Karen.”

Natasha ground her teeth, automatically looking for Lexi. The baby was happily rooting through the toy box, picking out all the yellow toys. No help there then. She sat back, trying to ignore the beginnings of a headache as the others continued to chatter on, missing the concerned looks Laura sent her way.

 

 

As Natasha drew up to the house she could see Maria making her way down the track from the Bartons, Murphy wandering around her heels. She watched for a moment, taking in the easy smile as Maria called to her dog, the loose graceful way she walked. “Oh, Lexi baby, this could be bad,” she muttered, getting a coo in reply. Giving herself a shake she got out and had just lifted Lex up when Maria reached them.

“Hi,” Natasha reached down and rubbed behind Murphy's ears.

“Hey,” Maria grinned, reaching out the take Lexi from her. Natasha surrendered her with a grateful sigh and Maria dropped a kiss on the baby's nose, making her giggle. “I have to head to work tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Need to pull Steve's head out of his ass and get some straight answers out of Tony. Shockingly, I do that better in person than via email.”

“Can't imagine why,” Natasha smirked, leading the way into the house, “Are you going to be away long?”

“Hope not.”

“Just to warn you, the mothers and toddlers group are moving on to your love life now that they have failed with mine.”

“Hell no,” Maria said easily, and Natasha frowned at her. “Sorry, heck no.”

“Thought you might say that.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Maria juggled her coffee and pile of files, opening her office door with one elbow. Thank goodness it was late and therefore Stark was no longer going to be around to see this and mock. Probably. Settling at her desk she sighed, taking a deep drink of coffee before turning to her computer. It had been a long, frustrating day filled with bone-headed men and really, all she wanted to do was bang their heads together and go home.

Two coffees and six failed project plans later her phone pinged.

Tasha: _Turn on skype_

Maria blinked. She had skype on her work computer? She ferreted around in the programmes list for a couple of minutes. “Huh. Will you look at that.”

Seconds after she logged on Natasha called.

“Hi?”

“Hey,” there was blurred movement at the other end then the screen resolution settled to show Natasha looking tired, hair piled up in a bun with Lexi on her lap. The baby had her bear clutched to her chest and fat tears still clung to her eyelashes. “So someone misses you. I promised her we could talk to you through the computer before sleep. She either understood me and we have a genius child or she picked up on to the fact that if she didn't stop crying I was going to leave her on the church steps.”

Maria couldn't melting a little, despite Natasha clearly having suffered. There was a wry smile on the redheads face as if she was well aware of Maria's internal dilemma. “Okay, so that's cute. And probably very annoying for you.”

“Yeah. To both.”

Lexi pointed to the screen, bewildered. “Mama?” She had just started stringing syllables together in a more sensible way; they thought 'mama' was probably her attempt at 'Maria', but decided to stick with it and make Nat 'mommy'.

“Yeah. Wave Maria.”

She did so, stifling a laugh as Lexi's confused frown deepened and she leaned forwards, trying to grab the screen.

Natasha stood up and showed her the back of the laptop, trying to explain skype to a baby. Maria turned back to her work, listening with half an ear and still smiling. She had just completed a set of requestion forms when she heard a surprised squeak and glanced up. Natasha had a mischievous expression on her face and Lexi was wide eyed with shock.

“Did you just minimise me?”

“Yeah… and I'm not sorry about it.” Natasha smirked at her through the camera.

There was a happy 'oh' and Lexi's face was suddenly wreathed in smiles.

“Maximised?”

“Yep.”

“Dork.”

Lexi giggled. “Pee'aboo.”

“Yes, peekaboo. Where's Mama gone? Maria, wave.”

She did so.

Repeatedly.

 

Eventually Lexi quietened and Maria turned back to the screen. They were sitting back down, Lexi looking a lot happier and Natasha smiling fondly.

“All good?”

“Yeah” Natasha smoothed her hand over Lexi's hair, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

Maria watched, warm melting feeling back, remembering Natasha's fears that she was going to be a cold and heartless mother. That seemed so long ago. Natasha looked up to meet her eyes and there was a long pause. Her smile took on a slightly amused edge. Maria cleared her throat. “I was going to call you sometime anyway.”

“Uh-huh,” Natasha raised an eyebrow and settled the baby back more comfortably against her chest.

Maria rolled her eyes. “I was. If by some miracle the Avengers survive this political madness going around at the moment, Steve wants a training room based on a city landscape. He has visions of teams of agents learning how to, I don’t know, leap nimbly from rooftop to rooftop. I need you to try and turn his plans into something that makes sense. I have given up.”

“Well, that is what I'm good at. Translating Steve Rogers.” Natasha looked thoughtful, “I think he mentioned this before. Send me his proposals and I will figure out a reply for you.”

Maria grinned, seeing how pleased to be asked the redhead actually was behind her nonchalant pose. “Thanks. You sure you don't want to take on more consulting hours here? Please?” She batted her eyelashes and smiled hopefully.

“Nah, I'm going to keep you hanging a bit longer Hill.” Natasha smirked.

“Okay, I better get miss here to bed. Long day learning how to share nicely with others at nursery and then learning how to spread mud aalll the way through the house afterwards. Thank you for letting us crash your evening.”

“Anytime,” Maria paused, “Just hang on a sec.” She tapped a couple of buttons, taking a picture of Natasha nuzzling her dozy daughters head, one eyebrow raised as if she was well aware of what Maria was doing. Which, Maria had to allow, she probably was. “Okay.”

“Sure?” Natasha teased.

“Yep. Shoo.”

Natasha laughed quietly “See you Friday.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

“Bye.”


	13. Chapter 13 - Chicago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first family trip away. Natasha helps Maria, then Clint helps her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big one! Tough one...

Natasha had seen Maria lead units of agents into situations against impossible odds, had stood by her side as gods and aliens and monsters roamed around them, followed her without hesitation into battle. She had seen her in the seconds before she was grilled by senators, watched her face down Nick Fury and Tony Stark and even on one particularly memorable occasion the Hulk. However, she had never seen her quite this nervous.

She watched, bemused, as the other woman paced around the kitchen, double checking lists that she had written over a week ago. “Maria.”

“Hm?”

“We've got everything. Murphy will be fine with Coop, Liho will love the peace and Lexi was changed only five minutes ago. Shall we leave now?”

Maria looked at her, tension in every line of her body. Natasha smiled encouragingly, exaggeratedly waving her towards the door. There was a flicker of a rueful smile at the corner of Maria's mouth as she complied, and Natasha had to resist the urge to rub her shoulders comfortingly.

“It's just a couple of days.”

“Yeah. But it's my family,” Maria replied dryly, grabbing the last of their bags, “A couple of days may well be too much.”

 

'Dreading' was a fairly apt word to use to describe how Natasha had been feeling about the journey to Chicago, but in reality it went fairly smoothly. As well it should, considering that the full force of Maria's organising efforts had been focused on it. Natasha wasn't quite sure which of the women in her life were more cranky, but at least Maria stalked off to brood by herself whenever possible, Lex just clung to her fretfully and whined.

 

By the time they pulled their rental car up outside a pleasant, anonymous house in the suburbs all three of them were exhausted. There was a second of quiet after Maria turned off the engine, and she saw the brunette take a deep breath, as if bracing herself. Patting her knee Natasha slid out, stretching gratefully in the cool evening air. Maria followed more slowly, casting an almost haunted glance in her direction before heading up the path. Natasha hung back a little, scooping Lexi out of her car seat and joining Maria just as the door opened.

“Maria!” The grey haired woman who greeted them must be Ann, Maria's step-mother. She was medium height, with a well worn face that suggested a hard life, but there were deep laughter lines around her eyes and her smile was warm. She wrapped Maria in a quick hug, Natasha noting how Maria stiffened involuntarily.

“Hey,” Maria said quietly, but she did return Ann's smile before stepping to one side, “This is Natasha. Nat, Ann. And here is Lexi.” Her smile widened as Natasha passed the baby to her so that she could take Ann's proffered hand.

“It's a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Ann said, her gaze penetrating but friendly, “I look forward to learning more about you.”

Natasha winced internally. Maria had failed to mention her step-mother being this sharp.

Ann was watching Lexi with soft eyes as the little girl stared back, one hand firmly twisted in Maria's collar. After a second Lex blinked and waved one chubby hand before turning and pressing her face into Maria's hair. Natasha was sure that her grin mirrored Maria's slightly goofy, proud smile, and Ann looked absolutely smitten already.

Sensibly, she didn't reach for the baby like Natasha had assumed she would, but waved them inside. “There's pie in the oven, you must be starving.”

“A little, thank you.” Maria followed her in while Natasha jogged back down the path to fetch their bags.

By the time she returned Maria was settled in the kitchen, Lexi sat on her lap happily gnawing on a teething ring. Maria's eyes brightened when she walked in, just like Lexi's did when Natasha took her back after a check up with Dr Harper. It was cute, in a frustrating way, and gave Natasha a similar, warm feeling of being wanted. She sat down, brushing her fingers lightly over the baby's head which got her a gummy smile.

 

They made small talk over dinner, Maria eating one handed around Lexi as she refused to be set down. Natasha was well aware of Ann watching her closely. She had been expecting it. As Maria's family, it had been decided that they deserved a (much abbreviated) version of the truth. Alexis was their granddaughter after all. And of course, following the fall of SHIELD, both hers and Maria's careers were no long secret. However, the older woman seemed content with just chatting for now, and certainly didn't make Natasha feel unwelcome.

As they finished eating Lexi started whining and reaching for her.

“She's hungry. Do you mind…?”

“No no,” Ann waved off her hesitation, “would you prefer to use the living room for now?”

Natasha nodded, hoisting her daughter off Maria's knee. As she settled down to feed her she could hear Maria and Ann clearing up, with mild disagreements over how much Maria should do as a guest.

 

She rejoined them with a sleepy baby just as Ann set out coffee. Maria looked tense again, the talking having become stilted in her absence. She gently brushed a hand over the brunette's arm as she sat down next to her and smiled at Ann. “Thank you for that.”

“It's no problem, Natasha,” she replied, with a genuine smile, looking at Lexi. “She really is gorgeous.”

Both women beamed. “Yeah,” Maria said.

Ann flicked a glance at her, “She's got your eyes.”

“And her stubbornness, love of early mornings and apparently her allergies,” Natasha added with a teasing smile.

Maria rolled her eyes with a quiet, “Yeah, yeah.”

“How is she with strangers?”

“Depends,” Natasha gave her daughter a considering look, “Want to say hello to Nanna properly, малютка?”

Lexi just blinked calmly, so Natasha scooped her up, passed her along to Maria who settled her carefully with Ann. There was a long moment of the baby staring up at this new person, before she relaxed and reached out to grab at her broach. Ann smiled, arms curling with the ease of long practice around the baby to keep her steady. Natasha felt Maria let out a sigh of relief.

“How are the guys?”

“Marco has got a new job. Joey broke up with his girlfriend, and Ben is home from college at the moment. Unfortunately, they all still live here.” Ann's mouth twisted down in a comic grimace. “And Robert is coming over tomorrow with Lucy.”

Maria took a sip of her drink. “And dad?”

“Winding down from work. He only does two days a week now. His back is too bad now for anything except desk work, which he finds hard to accept. He will be in later.”

Maria nodded, her face blank.

Ann glanced at them both apologetically. “I'm afraid there isn't much space with all the boys home, so I have had to squeeze you all into Maria's old room.”

“That will be fine,” Maria reassured her, “I'll take the bags up now so they aren't in the way.”

 

 

Maria's old room was up in the attic, with a sloping roof and most of the available space taken up by a single bed. Somehow a cot had been squeezed into one corner, and almost all the rest of the floor was covered by an airbed piled with blankets. Natasha looked at Maria with one eyebrow quirked upwards.

“You get the bed,” Maria said, and plopped down on the airbed with a finality that Natasha had learned not to argue with.

Natasha bounced on the bed experimentally, then rolled over to look at Maria on the floor. “Remind me which of your brothers is which again?”

“Robert is my older brother, the cop who passed on Murphy. Lucy is his fiancé. Marco is Ann's oldest, he's five years younger than me and can't stick at a job more than six months. Joey is next, then Ben is the baby. He's still at uni.” She rubbed her hands over her face tiredly, “And they will probably all flirt horrendously with you, so please try not to kill any of them.”

Natasha chuckled, “I have enough Hills in my life, thank you very much.”

Maria pouted, then closed her eyes.

“I think I like Ann,” Natasha said carefully, watching for Maria's reaction.

“Good.”

There was a long pause, then Natasha reached down to gently brush an irritating strand of hair back from Maria's forehead, getting a flicker of a smile in response. “Ann is fine. I think… I think if we had both put a bit more effort in we would have had a good relationship when I was younger. But she had three small boys, and my father to worry about, and I was stubborn.”

“Was?” Natasha scoffed quietly, but her tone was fond.

“Rob and I spent a lot of time by ourselves. And he was three years older than me, so didn't want his baby sister following him around everywhere.”

“And your father?”

“Rob had it worse in a way. I just wasn't worth noticing, Rob had to live up to all his expectations. Impossible. He was nearly as bad with the younger three, but at least they had Ann to fight for them.”

Natasha could see Maria starting to tense up again and let the back of her hand dangle and brush against her bare arm, getting another smile.

Maria squinted open one eye. “Thank you for coming with me.”

“Of course.”

 

 

They dragged themselves, exhausted, downstairs at the sound of Maria's father and brothers arriving home in a noisy heap. Ann shushed them violently, hissing that the baby was asleep. It took Natasha a moment to separate them; Maria's younger brothers all looked very similar, with sturdy builds, the same dark hair as her and brown, intelligent eyes. Her father was an older version of his sons, Natasha noting silently to herself that Maria's height and blue eyes must come from her mother.

Robert Senior greeted his daughter formally, showing her no more affection than he did Natasha. Her brothers were more enthusiastic, showering her in bear hugs and sending Natasha appreciative glances and compliments.

“So, are you two…?” Marco asked with a grin.

“No,” Maria said flatly. “No.” She repeated firmly as all three guy's eyes lit up, following this with some blistering Italian in a dialect that Natasha found hard to follow.

Marco stepped back with a laugh, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, got it,” He turned to Natasha with a warm, friendly grin and held out his hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you,” he said sincerely.

Natasha took his hand, deciding that most of the banter was for show. “Likewise.”

Luckily, Ann hustled them off to bed not long later, worrying about how tired they must be.

 

 

Maria woke early the next morning to the sounds of Lexi starting to fuss in the cot. Working her way upright she checked Nat, who was still fast asleep sprawled out over the bed, then wriggled her way over to Lex, lifted her out and shushed her. Trying to let Natasha sleep as long as possible she crept out as quietly as she could. The rest of the household were still asleep.

Doing her best to keep it that way she shut the door to the kitchen and rooted out a banana from the fruit bowl. Lexi's eyes lit up – banana was her favourite food at the moment.

“Let's start brekkie now, Sprout.”

She had managed to get about a third of the banana into the baby, and a good amount of the rest spread around the kitchen when Natasha wandered in. Maria blinked; the redhead was barefoot, in just a loose t-shirt and boxers and looked ridiculously chilled out considering they were at her parents.

“What?” She asked, noticing Maria's look. “And what happened down here?”

Her gaze moved around the room, taking in the sticky handprints and gooey blobs.

Maria shrugged. “First course of breakfast.”

Lexi waved her hands delightedly at Natasha. “'Nanana!”

“I can see that love.” Natasha said, amusement in her voice. “Why do you look like you have been hit over the head?” She asked Maria.

“Uh… would you mind putting some more clothes on? My brothers are already half in love with you. This would probably start a war.” She gestured a little weakly in Nat's direction.

Natasha looked down at herself. “Okay,” She shrugged, and padded back upstairs.

Maria was startled out of her thoughts by an impatient: “Mama! Nanana!” from Lexi.

She gave herself a shake. “Alright, sorry Sprout.”

 

Natasha returned, the t-shirt now paired with jeans which in Maria's opinion was only slightly better than before, but she didn't argue, passing over the baby to be fed.

“Sticky monster,” Natasha grumbled comfortably, settling at the table with her.

“I did wipe most of the goo off for you,” Maria said, standing, “Tea?”

“My hero,” Natasha said dryly, most of her attention on her daughter, “Yes please.”

 

 

The rest of the family started filtering down about an hour later, Ann bustling in the kitchen organising everyone while Robert Senior disappeared to the living room with the morning paper. Natasha noticed how he avoided Maria, and didn't acknowledge Lexi at all. Tamping down firmly on her initial desire to beat some sense into the man, she took her daughter through to the living room with her.

“Excuse me?”

He glanced up at her and grunted neutrally.

“Would you mind watching Lexi for a few minutes for me? Everyone else is rushing around and it gets a bit much for her.”

Lexi did indeed look a bit overwhelmed, wide eyed with her thumb firmly in her mouth and bear grasped tightly. Natasha was just praying that her daughters usual sunny nature would break through rather than screams.

“Uh, sure. Okay.” In his discomfort Natasha finally saw a flash of Maria in the man, and it warmed her to him slightly.

Carefully she handed over Lexi, relieved to see that the man did at least handle her with confidence, settling her almost automatically in the crook of his arm as he turned back to the paper. Natasha hesitated for just a second longer, sending her daughter a reassuring smile. Lexi regarded her grandfather steadily, then reached out and poked the newspaper, letting out a delighted giggle at the rustle. Smiling to herself, Natasha left to find a shower.

 

As she came back downstairs not long later she was surprised to find Ann and Maria both standing in the hallway, looking into the living room. Joining them, she got a beaming smile from Ann and Maria brushed a hand over her hip.

“Wha..?”

Maria clamped her hand gently over her mouth before she could get any further, moving so that she could see Robert Senior with Lexi reclining comfortably against his chest, pointing to pictures in the paper and babbling up at him while he listened gravely and talked back to her softly.

The three women retreated silently back to the kitchen, where Ann wrapped Natasha in a warm, unexpected hug.

“I feel like we have missed something,” Marco said to Joey from where the three brothers were sat at the table, “Do you feel like we have missed something?”

“Yup. I mean, Maria's smiling. Something must have happened.”

Maria clipped Joey's ear as she made her way around to the coffee machine, getting a yelp. She merely smiled and held up a mug to Natasha questioningly. Natasha nodded, sliding into a seat at the table and joining in with the brothers banter.

 

 

When Robert Junior arrived with his pretty blond fiancé Lucy Natasha almost did a double take. It was like looking at a male version of Maria, and she couldn't help automatically grinning in response to his welcoming smile. He even sounded like her, his intonation far more unspecific that his younger brothers classic Chicago-Italian lilt. After hugging Ann and Maria he looked around.

“Where's my niece then?”

“With your father,” Ann said, in a slightly hushed voice.

Rob blinked. “What, seriously?” He sent a questioning look to Maria who nodded solemnly. He held out a hand to Natasha. “Congratulations. You have produced an angel child.” His eyes were teasing but Natasha could sense a thread of sincerity behind the words.

“Oh, you wait until you have heard her have her diaper changed.” Natasha grinned, “You might change your mind then.”

 

 

That afternoon, after increasing levels of teasing from all her brothers about being a 'secret agent' Maria had caved to their demands and the five of them were now out on the lawn, sparring. Rob had offered to be on Maria's side but she had just snorted disparagingly, so the four of them were trying to take her down. So far they had yet to land a hit on her, but Joey was limping and Ben had been thrown to the floor twice.

Natasha sat on the porch steps with Lucy, Lexi playing on the grass just below them. Natasha kept half an eye on her, while enjoying watching Maria have fun with her brothers.

“She's very good,” Lucy said.

“Which one?” Natasha asked a little distantly as Maria ducked under a kick from Marco and spun him into Rob.

“Fair point. Both,” Lucy said with a smile.

Natasha grinned, leaning back with her elbows on the step above them. “They are.”

As if aware she was the subject of discussion Lexi looked up, holding out a daisy to be admired. Lucy made appropriate cooing noises. Natasha hid a smile. She wouldn't be at all surprised if Rob didn't find his soon-to-be wife wanting kids. Imminently.

“It's been a very short visit.” Lucy sounded disappointed.

Natasha hummed in agreement. “It's not a good time for us to be away from work. Plus, this is Lexi's first holiday, so we didn't want to push it too far.” In truth, she was glad they would be heading home that evening; while the trip had gone very well all things considered, it had been exhausting, particularly for Maria, and she would prefer to leave on a positive note. “We will be back over soon though, I'm sure.”

Lucy nodded, then let out a whoop of encouragement as Maria flipped herself over Ben.

 

 

Natasha had got them almost fully packed up by the time Maria and her brothers headed inside. She could hear them chattering cheerfully in the kitchen before dispersing for showers. With a small sigh she unearthed a towel just as Maria stuck her head into their room.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Natasha ran her eyes over the other woman almost automatically, despite the fact that injury from that level of sparring was highly unlikely. Her eyes narrowed as she spotted blood on her shoulder. “What happened?”

“Just a scratch,” Maria shrugged.

Natasha stepped up to her, dragging her towards the small window and examining the mark closely.

“Honestly, it's just a scratch. There was a stick in the lawn.” Nevertheless Maria submitted to her scrutiny without resisting.

Natasha gently ran her fingers over her collarbone and around the cut, testing for any soreness.“Idiot,” she said eventually.

Maria huffed, her breath tickling Natasha's face, making her suddenly aware of how much she was in Maria's space. She glanced up, meeting her eyes. They were almost glowing in the light of the setting sun and Natasha felt her breath catch. She could see the pulse in Maria's neck, feel the heat radiating from her and suddenly swallowing seemed very hard. There was a long second where they both seemed frozen, then Maria shifted her weight slightly, licking her lips. At that moment one of her brothers shouted something from downstairs, making them both jump, Natasha snatching her hand back from Maria's shoulder almost guiltily.

“I'll just...” Maria gestured at the towel.

Natasha handed it over quickly and the other woman left without a backward glance. Natasha sat with a thump on the bed, falling back with a groan.

 

 

Leaving led to the usual chaotic mess of hugs and handshakes, Maria's father even going as far to give her a gruff clap on the shoulder. As they pulled away Natasha noticed Maria let out a sigh of relief.

“Better than you thought?”

“Yeah. But still...”

“Yeah.” Natasha paused thoughtfully. “You know your brother is gay?”

“Ben? Yeah.”

“Does he know?”

“I don't know… he might just be ignoring it. Dad would not take it well.”

Natasha hummed in agreement. “Maybe hint that you know. He might need you.”

Maria gave her a sidelong glance, and Natasha was suddenly afraid she had overstepped a boundary. “You got on well with them.”

“Yeah. They were… ordinary.”

A grin flashed across Maria's face, “When that's a compliment you know your life is messed up.” With that she swung them out onto the main road to the airport.

 

 

 

24 hours later Natasha was perched grumpily on Clint's sideboard as he washed up and Laura worked on a crossword at the table. They were both semi ignoring her, used to her need to open up at her own pace. She watched Clint's hands distractedly as he turned mismatched crockery in the soapy water, and sighed.

“I nearly kissed Maria.”

“Finally!” Clint threw up his hands covered in suds, “Hang on, what do you mean 'nearly'?”

Natasha frowned,“What do you mean 'finally'?”

“Oh come on Nat.”

Natasha looked at him blankly.

“Really? You two have so much chemistry a blind nun would have picked up on it. Its been driving us crazy.”

“She looks at you like you make the sun come up in the morning” Laura added, glancing up from her paper, eyes sparkling.

Natasha just sat there, dumbfounded.

“Honestly, call yourself a spy. I thought this was your area!” Clint sounded almost amused, which made Natasha grind her teeth.

“Please be serious,” she spat out, tensing ready to jump down, “I don't need this.”

“Nat?” Laura's face dropped and she looked worried, “Honey, we aren't teasing you. I promise.”

Natasha averted her eyes from them, landing softly on the floor.

“Hey,” Clint touched her shoulder with a wet hand, making her freeze, “have you really not noticed?”

Natasha felt everything piling up, feelings and expectations and doubts. All she wanted to do was curl up and hide from the world. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself she shrugged, doing her best not to give in to the waves of fear that threatened her.

“Natasha...” Laura joined them, carefully enveloping her in a hug.

Natasha held herself back for a second then relaxed all at once. Laura was probably the only person in the world who could sooth her with just a touch. There was no threat from Laura. She tucked her face in the crook of the other woman's neck and whined in confused frustration. Laura hummed soothingly, running her fingers through Natasha's hair, almost as if she was Lila. It worked. Natasha felt her mind settle as she concentrated on the soft strokes.

“Really?” She asked quietly, the hopeful lilt in her voice muffled a bit by Laura's sweater.

Clint heard her anyway. “Really.”

Natasha let out a shaky breath. “What do I do?”

Laura pulled back a bit to smile at her. “Go get the girl.”

 

 

Leaving the Barton's and making her way down the track was a blur. All of her attention was focussed on her home and the woman who had built it for her.

Maria was sitting on the sofa. She looked up with a smile as Natasha came in, tossing the paperback she was reading to one side. “Hey.”

Natasha kicked off her shoes so that they landed near Maria's travel bag by the door without taking her eyes off the other woman. She walked slowly but purposefully over to the sofa, reached down without hesitating to cup Maria's face with both hands and kissed her. It was just a light kiss that made her lips tingle, and for a long second Maria seemed to be frozen, then a tiny sigh escaped her and she tilted her head to a better angle. Natasha felt a sudden flare of heat in the pit of her belly and a rush of lightheadedness that left her giddy. She smiled, and felt Maria do the same. When she started to pull back Maria followed, drawing her back in for another, firmer kiss, one hand slipping around her arm while the other came to rest on her thigh. After a long moment they separated for air, Maria staring up at her wide eyed, stunned.

“Hi,” Natasha said softly, rubbing her thumbs over Maria's cheekbones tenderly.

Maria smiled, her whole face lighting up. “Hi.”

She tugged gently on Natasha's arm and leg until she slid onto the taller woman's lap, settling with her knees either side of her legs. They traded a series of slow, tender kisses, one of Maria's hands flat on the small of Natasha's back as if to keep her secure. Eventually Natasha pressed a little closer, nibbing at Maria's top lip and darting her tongue out for an exploratory sweep. To her delight Maria opened her mouth, both of them groaning quietly as their tongues met and Natasha shifted closer still. She could feel the patter of Maria's heart in her chest and twined her fingers deep in soft, silky hair.

“Natasha,” Maria breathed, part benediction, part plea. One of her hands cupped the back of Natasha's head as she trailed her lips up Natasha's jaw, planting soft kisses just below her ear. “Tasha...”

Every part of her body sang to the sound of her name on Maria's lips like that, and she reached around to pull Maria's face back for another kiss, eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. Suddenly her eyes flew open again and she pulled away slightly, Maria's hands tightening to stop her losing her balance. “Why is you bag packed?”

Maria blinked a couple of times, looking pole-axed and Natasha couldn't help smirking. “Oh. I have to go.”

“Why?”

“Politics.” Maria's voice had an annoyed edge to it, though her grip on Natasha stayed gentle. “Washington this time.”

“Really?” If Natasha sounded whiny then she wasn't sorry.

Maria nodded, looking apologetic.

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

The regret in Maria's tone went some way to soothing Natasha, and she smiled, combing her fingers through Maria's hair, scratching lightly at her scalp. “Right now?”

“Two minutes,” Maria breathed, reaching up and capturing her lips again, hands firmly on her waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally! Nearly there now :)


	14. Chapter 14 - Stars

Maria hadn't realised how much life got in the way of actually having a life until now. She spent six frustration filled days in Washington, going from meeting to meeting with barely enough time to eat. She missed Lexi's bedtime skype session twice, something she could see Natasha working very hard to be patient about. Then she was sent to New York for another couple of days, trying not to beat her head against the desk as she seemed to be the only person who could see the whole picture this Registration Act was presenting.

 

 

When she finally made it back home she was greeted by Natasha's travel bag ready packed, and she almost cried. Natasha gave her a semi-apologetic, semi-annoyed half smile and a shrug.

“I picked up pizza?” she said, as if trying to make things better.

Maria tossed her blazer to the sofa, unbuttoned the collar of her shirt and kicked off her shoes, rolling her shoulders to try and ease the tension in them. “Sounds good,” she tried to keep her tone positive. None of this was Natasha's fault.

Natasha relaxed a bit, setting plates out on the table. Maria caught her waist as she passed, dropping a quick kiss to her lips, feeling them curve up in a more genuine smile. “Wanted to do that for days,” she mumbled.

Natasha laughed softly, winding one hand into her hair and kissing her back firmly, full of a restrained passion that left Maria red and blinking stupidly when she moved away to grab the cutlery. "Me too."

At that moment Lexi appeared, crawling rapidly around the corner with a crow of delight when she saw Maria. Scooping her up before she could get under Natasha's feet Maria blew a raspberry on the baby's stomach, making her giggle hysterically.

 

They managed pizza and coffee before Clint showed up to take Nat to the Avengers Base with him.

“How are you holding up, Commander?” He asked with a smirk.

“Shut up, _Agent_ ,” Maria growled, before Natasha wrapped herself around her and kissed her thoroughly.

When she broke away Clint was firmly facing the wall, his ears red.

Natasha chuckled wickedly. “See you soon.”

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

A couple of days later Maria heard the distictive snap of the door as Natasha walked in, dumping her bag. She seemed to immediately pick up on the quiet that could only be achieved by absence-of-baby and raised one eyebrow questioningly as Maria came to greet her. Maria grinned, impressed as always at the combination of spy senses and maternal instinct that allowed Natasha the almost spooky ability of knowing where her daughter was at all times.

“Laura's babysitting tonight.”

“Is she?” Natasha's second eyebrow rose to join the first and Maria smiled, finding herself oddly comfortable with being so easily read by the other woman.

“Yep.”

“Should I ask why?” Natasha had a small smile now, head tilted teasingly.

“Nah, surprise.” Maria grinned at the almost shy expression that spread over Natasha's face, “Be ready in comfortable clothes in an hour?”

“Okay,” Natasha shot her a look that was made up equally of surprise, suspicion and warmth, and headed up the stairs.

Maria watched her go, then gave herself a little shake and continued packing everything they needed.

 

 

Maria parked her old pick up truck at the top of one of the hills right at the edge of the Barton's land. There were a few trees dotted around, leaving a good view of the sky clear.

“I thought you might prefer to be well within shouting distance in case Lexi needs us,” she said practically, registering Natasha's soft smile of acknowledgement and the brush of her hand against her shoulder as she jumped out and began making a nest of pillows and rugs in the back of the pick-up.

The redhead followed more slowly, looking a bit confused.

“Picnic,” Maria said, holding up the basket with a smile, “and stars. Apparently this is going to be a good night for stargazing. There's a meteor shower due.”

Natasha boosted herself up to join her on the soft pile. “Isn't this traditional for teenagers in America?” She asked, a note of amusement in her voice.

“Well I never got this lucky as a teenager” Maria said as she rooted through the basket. “Besides, we seem intent on doing this thing backwards, so why not?” She passed Natasha aplate. The other woman was watching her with a warm, fond expression that made her feel oddly jumpy, so she focussed her attention on the sky instead. “It's beautiful out here.”

“Yes,” Natasha agreed, “It is.” She wasn't looking at the sky.

Maria rolled her eyes. “Have a sandwich.”

 

Maria would be the first to admit that it was quite basic food, but Natasha seemed to appreciate it. The night was warm, the smell of sun baked earth and wildflowers rising around them. They reclined amongst the pillows with Irish coffee, ostensibly watching for meteors but mainly enjoying having the chance to reconnect and catch up, Natasha playing absently with Maria's free hand as she leant into her side.

She had just finished her coffee when Natasha very firmly took her mug off her and set it out of the way. Maria grinned, letting her fingers play with the edge of Natasha's top, brushing the sliver of exposed skin teasingly. Natasha pushed her back, eyes dark and determined, but her kiss was light, tongue gentle and almost hesitant.

Loving the fact that they could move as slowly as they wanted Maria took her time to explore what made Natasha's breath catch, what made her hips move involuntarily, what made her bite down on Maria's lip.

It was strange this, both new and familiar at the same time. She knew Natasha so well: the smell of her hair, how she would tilt her head to the right not the left when she was being herself, the way her shoulders would settle when she was truly relaxed. The half smile that curled her mouth as she made a terrible pun or obscure movie reference and way her face lit up with her daughter. At the same time this was so different, being able to touch her, the solid warmth of her body as she pressed closer, the coffee-sweet taste of her mouth. This was, Maria thought a little giddily, like coming home after a long absence, comfortable but exciting and _right_.

Natasha's neck was particularly sensitive she discovered, the redhead moaning quietly as she sucked on her pulse point, nibbling up a collar bone.

“How much did you want to see the meteors?” She asked, breathless, running her fingernails up and down Maria's spine.

“Eh,” Maria mumbled, nipping gently on her ear lobe, “I've seen them before.”

“Good.” Natasha sat up, swiftly removing her top.

Maria's hands moved automatically to caress her pale skin that was almost luminous in the starlight, making Natasha arch into her touch with a satisfied sigh. Unable to resist Maria lent up to press kisses along the top of her breasts, drawing a muttered curse from Natasha as she tangled a hand in Maria's hair to guide her.

Maria sat back, grinning up at her cheekily. “We are going to be eaten alive by bugs.”

Natasha slid down, laughing into Maria's chest, making her grin involuntarily. She leant back on one elbow, eyes warm and amused. “Stop spoiling the moment,” she said, voice low and huskier than usual, playing with the buttons on Maria's shirt.

“We're having a moment?” Maria asked teasingly, brushing a strand of Natasha's hair back, trailing fingers over her cheek then down one arm.

“We would be,” Natasha said, leaning in to brush her lips over Maria's again, “If you would shut up.”

“Shutting up,” Maria breathed, rolling over and pulling the smaller woman down to rest on top of her. She kissed her deeply, losing herself in the sensations, the way Natasha curved her body to meld them even closer together and the soft noises of appreciation that one or other of them allowed to escape.

 

 

Maria woke with the dawn chorus some hours later. The sky was just beginning to lighten, a pink glow on the horizon. Natasha's head was pillowed on her chest, one leg thrown haphazardly over her hips. Snuggling a little deeper under the rugs Maria trailed a hand lightly down the redheads naked back and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Natasha shifted with a sleepy mumble, arms automatically tightening around Maria's waist.

“Sunrise,” Maria said quietly around a mouthful of red hair.

“Hm?” Natasha sat up a bit, allowing Maria to prop herself more upright with a pillow. She then pulled Natasha back down to rest against her, wriggling until they were both able to comfortably watch as the sun slowly rose over the distant hills. Natasha let out a long, relaxed sigh that tickled across Maria's chest. “Such a cliché,” she said contentedly.

Maria chuckled “I think we deserve the odd cliché.” She carded her fingers through Natasha's hair gently, playing with the ends and smoothing the sensitive skin of her neck. For so long she had wanted to be able do this, wanted to hold Natasha and just be close to her. “Happy?” She asked, the last shred of uncertainty in her voice.

“Yes,” Natasha said, simply but definitely. She twisted in Maria's arms to face her, and Maria's breath caught at how beautiful and calm she looked. For that moment there were no shadows chasing through her eyes, no tension pulling at her face. The only time she remembered seeing Natasha this peaceful before was the night after Lexi had been born, when it was just the three of them in the safety of the Avengers medical bay. “I'm glad you're here.”

Maria believed her.


	15. Chapter 15 - War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha faces a hard decision.

Natasha stretched, feeling the delicious pull on her muscles, and snuggled back under the sheets, deeper into the warm curve of Maria's body. Maria let out a soft hum of approval, sliding an arm around her waist to tug her closer.

“Morning.”

“How long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” Maria's voice was a pleasant rumble in her ear, “Someone wore me out last night.”

Natasha chuckled. “Didn't hear any complaints.”

“Hell no,” Maria murmured, pressing a kiss between her shoulder blades.

Letting out a soft, contented sigh Natasha tangled her fingers with Maria's. They had managed to be at home together for almost a week, and only Natasha's fears that at any moment the other shoe was going to drop held her back from total happiness. If she wasn't doubting herself, she was worrying about Steve, Bucky Barnes and this Registration Act that had been causing headaches for months.

“Where have you gone?” Maria asked, her voice drowsy.

Natasha had almost given up being surprised by Maria's perceptiveness. Almost. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

Natasha struggled for a long minute, fighting the impulse to stay silent. “I don't want this to end,” she eventually said softly, gripping Maria's hand more tightly.

“Good. Me neither.” Maria's tone was definite.

She hadn't even hesitated. Natasha let out a laugh that was half sob, then twisted to face her. Maria's eyes were blurred with sleep, but she smiled brightly and pushed Natasha's hair back off her face tenderly, rubbing the soft skin at thenape of her neck soothingly.

“It's getting too long,” Natasha wrinkled her nose as another strand of hair tickled her nose.

“I like it,” Maria said simply, combing that one away as well.

Grumbling, Natasha buried her face in Maria's shoulder, relaxing again as the other woman ran her fingers through her curls, working out the tangles gently. She had moved to trailing her fingers over Natasha's back in random patterns before Natasha felt like resurfacing.

“Okay?”

Natasha leaned up and brushed a kiss over her lips. “Better than okay.”

Maria looked relieved, and kissed her again, then pulled a face. “Morning breath. Lovely.”

She slid out of bed, Natasha thwacking her just before she skipped out of reach as she headed to the bathroom.

“Rude!” 

“True!” Maria grinned at her before disappearing into the en-suit.

 

She was just drifting off to sleep again when she heard some experimental sobs through the baby monitor, as if Lexi was working herself up to a good wail.

“You stay. I'll sort her.” Maria padded out of the bathroom, pausing to pull on a t-shirt and boxers.

Natasha could hear her through the monitor, greeting Lexi and talking cheerfully to the baby as she changed her. Surprisingly, there were no screams. Maybe she was growing out of that. Natasha sent a prayer to Thor that that was the case. She took the opportunity to clean her teeth and pull on a shirt and shorts before flopping back into bed as she heard Maria's slow steps heading back. The door swung open to reveal Lexi, crawling along, babbling quietly to herself. Maria was behind her looking amused. Seeing Natasha the baby sped up with a grin, hoisting herself upright by dragging on the bedsheets. Laughing Natasha scooped her up on the bed.

“Morning my love,” she kissed the baby's nose, getting a coo and pat on the forehead in response.

Maria slipped into bed behind her, settling herself so that her legs brushed against Natasha's. Lexi's face lit up and she scrambled over Natasha (who let out an 'oueff' as a small foot caught her in the stomach) to fall in a delighted heap on Maria.

“Pick a boo!”

“Hello to you too.” Maria sounded amused.

Natasha shuffled herself more upright, turning so that she could see Maria sprawled out underneath Lexi, the baby happily rubbing her face on her shirt. “I've been surpassed,” she grinned.

“Do you want it back? You can have it back. It's all grimy.” Maria pulled a face but Natasha could see the joy and love she tried to disguise.

“Nope. You can be the snot blanket this morning.”

 

 

Maria was called away that day. It looked serious, her expression had been drawn and tight as she left. Natasha sat in the window seat for a long time after she had gone, turning her phone in her hands. There was only one choice really. It cut through all her training, but it was the only path she could take and feel okay about. It was time. Setting her shoulders she sent messages to Clint, Tony, Steve and Sam.

She them made it her mission to keep the day as normal as possibly for Lexi. They took Murphy for a long walk, getting her all muddy in a stream and then had a lot of fun giving her a bath in the yard. The baby was so exhausted that she was drowsing off almost straight after her own bath.

Natasha held Lexi long after she had fallen asleep, whispering to her in Russian and running her fingers through her baby soft curls, commiting every feature to memory. Eventually she tucked her into her cot, pausing to make sure that she didn't wake, her hand gripping the door handle so tightly her knuckles whitened.

Then she got down to business. She checked her weapons, breaking down, cleaning and reassembling her guns. She packed practical clothes, using them to muffle the equipment in her bag. She updated her personal safe, which contained deeds to a couple of safe houses, bank account details and letters for Lexi, Maria and the Bartons. Everything she could think of to make life easier for them if she didn't return. Unwilling, or unable to stop and rest she then cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, waiting for Maria to come home.

 

It was dark outside when Natasha heard Maria come in quietly, dumping her work bag and heading straight upstairs to change. That was unlike her, from the very beginning of this journey Maria had made checking up on Natasha her priority. She took a deep, steadying breath. Maria knew. Of course she did; Maria Hill knew more than the Directors of the FBI and CIA put together. How could she not know what was coming. Somehow that didn't make this any easier.

Natasha hunched over the sink, staring blankly out of the window until she heard the soft pad of Maria's feet and felt a tentative touch on her shoulder. Taking a deep breath she turned to meet Maria's gaze.

“You're leaving.” It was a statement. All the questions were trapped in Maria's eyes, dark and haunted.

Natasha nodded, swallowing hard.

“I could...”

“No,” Natasha shook her head, “We promised that unless the world was ending, one of us would stay out of the line of fire.”

“And this doesn't count as the world ending?”

“This is Steve and Tony having appalling communication skills and not dealing with their issues.”

While that might have been a massive oversimplification, it did make Maria smile enough to ease the little frown between her eyes.

“People are going to get hurt.”

“People always get hurt. You can't stop that.” Maria opened her mouth to argue further, so Natasha hurried on. “I'm not saying hide in a bunker. Just… do your thing behind the scenes. Please.”

“Why are you the one going out?” Maria asked quietly, intensely, holding Natasha's gaze, “Why you and not me?”

“I am an Avenger,” Natasha said simply, “They are my team. And it's the right thing to do.”

Maria considered her for a long moment, then nodded. Natasha let out a breath. She understood.

“Clint?”

“He's going with Cap. I can't… I can't be around Steve at the moment without wanting to smack him around the head, which apparently would be counter productive.”

Maria snorted quietly, stepping forward to rest her hands on Natasha's hips. Natasha took the offer of comfort immediately, resting her forehead on Maria's chest. She could hear the thump of her heartbeat, faster than usual, and felt the tension in her limbs.

“So you are going with Tony?”

She nodded. “He might listen to me. Maybe. Hopefully I can keep him safe. Ish.”

Maria curled her arms around her properly, drawing her closer and buried her nose in Nat's hair. Her hands gripped at Natasha's top in a way so reminiscent of Lexi when she felt insecure than Natasha had to choke back a sudden lump in her throat.

“Don't die,” Maria murmured, almost a prayer, “Please Tasha, just come home.”

“I promise I will do everything in my power to come back to you,” Natasha whispered, running her hands over Maria's back, through her hair, grasping the hem of her shirt tightly.

“You better. Dork.”

There was a moment of silence as they clung together, Natasha trying to fix the feel of Maria, so vibrant and alive and loving in her memory.

“Not tonight?” Maria's voice was soft, and just this side of begging, “You don't have to leave tonight.”

She should. She should go now, while she was ready and get there with plenty of time. She couldn't face saying goodbye to Lexi again in the morning, knew how hard it would be to leave Maria. Then she looked up into blue eyes filled with emotion. “No” Natasha whispered, leaning her forehead against the taller woman's, “Not tonight.”

“I love you,” Maria's whisper was almost inaudible, as though she was afraid for Natasha to hear it.

“I always knew you were daft,” Natasha's voice was raspy with suppressed tears. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished! Wow that was tough, for a lot of reasons...  
> Sorry(ish) for the angsty ending, but that's what CA:CW is doing to me, and I was trying to keep them in character. I realise that as endings go, its quite open, but as I don't know what is going to happen in the film, this seemed best. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read this fic, especially those who stuck with me during the family issues I had in the middle and those who took the time to comment. Hope you have enjoyed it!


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